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Should zoos exist or not?

Should zoos exist or not? kgRX2
Zoos have eternally been a customary place to see animals for adolescents, students as well as adults. Notwithstanding, there are multitudinous controversies in the issue of confining animals to cages merely for the sake of human's amusement, as animal rights activists have always persisted to the point that zoos should be proscribed. From my standpoint, I'm firmly convinced that zoos should not prevail. Initially, capturing animals has far-reaching consequences, as even the best artificial environments can't meet the demand of matching the diversity and latitude that animals have in their natural habitats. Therefore, animals in incarceration are deprived of those vital things to their lives and, as a result, they may suffer from both mental and physical illnesses, for instance, "zoochosis", a psychological condition characterized by obsessive behaviours, including grooming, vomiting and self-mutilation. The argument that zoos are embedded with a view to preserving endangered species is now proved to be extraneous, now that zoos have killed many species due to the environmental, weather and habitat change. Furthermore, some studies have attested that reintroduced animals have higher mortality rates, provided that they lack the ability to adapt and survive in the wild. Additionally, people are prone to believe that zoos provide a unique experience of contemplating real animals for school children. As they can see those animals in person and listen to their genuine sounds, they can develop compassion towards animals, consequently learning how to preserve them together with their home ground. On the flip side, guiding youth to sanctuaries isn't that good, now that those who go to zoos can only see the animals be captured in small enclosures in lieu of being in their natural world and as a result, they cannot envisage how would it behave in its tangible home. Moreover, if they have interests in animals' lives and want to get crucial knowledge about them, they could simply watch some documentaries. What's more, divesting animals from their natural territory to cherish human beings is unethical. What gives humans the right to capture, confine, breed and poach other species illegally? Subsequently, some zoos and aquariums, instead of conserving them, impetus the illegal hunt of animals. There have been manifold poachers caught hunted, and sold animals for zoos in our history. Although the government has taken action to tackle this issue in the preceding years, there are still zoos that do not observe the animals' origin. At the end of the day, I presume that captivating wild animals is unprincipled. They indeed provide bliss and education, but animals are as crucial as humans, so zoos must be interdicted to save the wildlife.
Zoos have
eternally
been a customary place to
see
animals
for adolescents, students
as well
as adults. Notwithstanding, there are multitudinous controversies in the issue of confining
animals
to cages
merely
for the sake of human's amusement, as
animal
rights activists have always persisted to the point that zoos should
be proscribed
. From my standpoint, I'm
firmly
convinced that zoos should not prevail.

Initially
, capturing
animals
has far-reaching consequences, as even the best artificial environments can't
meet
the demand of matching the diversity and latitude that
animals
have in their natural habitats.
Therefore
,
animals
in incarceration
are deprived
of those vital things to their
lives
and,
as a result
, they may suffer from both mental and physical illnesses,
for instance
,
"
zoochosis
"
, a psychological condition characterized by obsessive
behaviours
, including grooming, vomiting and self-mutilation. The argument that zoos
are embedded
with a view to preserving endangered species is
now
proved to be extraneous,
now
that zoos have killed
many
species due to the environmental, weather and habitat
change
.
Furthermore
,
some
studies have attested that reintroduced
animals
have higher mortality rates, provided that they lack the ability to adapt and survive in the wild.

Additionally
,
people
are prone to believe that zoos provide a unique experience of contemplating real
animals
for school children. As they can
see
those
animals
in person and listen to their genuine sounds, they can develop compassion towards
animals
,
consequently
learning how to preserve them together with their home ground. On the flip side, guiding youth to sanctuaries isn't that
good
,
now
that those who go to zoos can
only
see
the
animals
be captured
in
small
enclosures in lieu of being in their natural world and
as a result
, they cannot envisage how would it behave in its tangible home.
Moreover
, if they have interests in animals'
lives
and want to
get
crucial knowledge about them, they could
simply
watch
some
documentaries. What's more, divesting
animals
from their natural territory to cherish human beings is unethical. What gives humans the right to capture, confine, breed and poach other species
illegally
?

Subsequently
,
some
zoos and aquariums,
instead
of conserving them, impetus the illegal hunt of
animals
. There have been manifold poachers caught hunted, and sold
animals
for zoos in our history. Although the
government
has taken action to tackle this issue in the preceding years, there are
still
zoos that do not observe the animals' origin.

At the
end
of the day, I presume that captivating wild
animals
is unprincipled
. They
indeed
provide bliss and education,
but
animals
are as crucial as humans,
so
zoos
must
be interdicted
to save the wildlife.
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IELTS essay Should zoos exist or not?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
434 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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