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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens? PVVPj
All the nations has undergone significant changes. In the past, to help other nation is much difficult. But nowadays, it becomes more easy and have plenty of ways to do it. There are contrasting perceptions in this matter. Proponents declare that wealthy nation have to help poorer nations by giving them necessary things. Conversely, critics agree that it is the governments duty to take care of their citizens. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides of the arguments and support my views with examples. Those who believe that wealthy nations have to help poorer nations have interesting reasons to support their belief. The most prominent reason behind their opinion is that developed country can provide education. This view exists because advanced countries can spread awareness about education in developing countries. As a result, people take good education and it will also affect on the growth of the nation. In addition, it is also seen that, some international company open their branch in developing country. Hence, by doing this they provide employment to unemployed people of other nation. In sharp contrast to the former group, there is a sizeable population against this. One of the most convincing factors they feel is that, government of poorer country also have to provide good necessary things. This factor is taken into account as government have to provide free education. Therefore, more people take education who is not able to pay fees of school and collage. My decision to support is based on the reason that by getting required things from the wealthy nation, government spend their budget on different matter. My observation is valid due to the fact that, developed countries can help other country by providing them food or any other necessary thing. Hence, developing country can spend their food budget on improving nation's security system. In conclusion, I believe that it is wealthy nations duty to help poorer nation developing by providing foods or education.
All the
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nations
has undergone significant
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changes
. In the past, to
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help
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other
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nation
is much difficult.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
nowadays, it becomes more easy and have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of ways to do it. There are contrasting perceptions in this matter. Proponents declare that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
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nations
by giving them necessary things.
Conversely
, critics
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that it is the
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "governments'" or "government's"?
governments
duty to take care of their citizens. In this essay, I will discuss both the sides of the arguments and support my views with examples.

Those who believe that
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wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
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nations
have interesting reasons to support their belief. The most prominent reason behind their opinion is that developed
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country
can
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provide
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education
. This view exists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
advanced
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countries
can spread awareness about
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education
in
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
As a result
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
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education
and it will
also
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on the growth of the
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nation
.
In addition
, it is
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
open their branch in
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developing
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country
.
Hence
, by doing this they
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provide
employment to unemployed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of
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other
nation.

In sharp contrast to the former group, there is a sizeable population against this. One of the most convincing factors they feel is that,
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government
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
necessary things. This factor
is taken
into account as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Therefore
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
who is not able to pay fees of school and collage.

My decision to support
is based
on the reason that by getting required things from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
,
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government
spend their budget on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
matter. My observation is valid due to the fact that, developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
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country
by providing them food or any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
necessary thing.
Hence
,
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developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
can spend their food budget on improving nation's security system.

In conclusion
, I believe that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wealthy
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "nations'" or "nation's"?
nations
duty to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
by providing foods or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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