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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens? 9Lalr
It is true that many countries in the world faces different types of problems especially lack of food and education. Some people think that rich countries should support poor countries by providing adequate food and education, while others argue it is the government’s task to look after its citizens. In my view, wealthy nations should support the poor to some extent if there is a scarcity of natural resources and the infrastructure in the country. There is no doubt that the government is responsible for the well-being of its citizens. In many countries, the government is elected by its people so it is the responsibility of the government to provide the basic needs of the people. The government should define the plans to improve the welfare of the citizens. It should identify and use the natural resources to improve the economy of the country. Lack of planning will result in poor education and low standard of living. On the other hand, due to inadequate natural resources, some countries are unable to raise the standards on their own. Some countries are affected by severe droughts and water scarcity which make it difficult for people to lead normal lives. In these cases, wealthy nations should come forward to get people out of the difficulties. Government of poorer nation are unable to design the long-term plan because of lack of funds and scarcity of natural resources. Rather than helping financially, wealthy nations can send teaching materials for the education and trainers for improving infrastructure in long run. To conclude, rich countries should help the poorer nations only if the later lacks the natural resources to support their people. If they have good local resources then it should be the concerned government’s responsibility to improve the standard of living for its citizens.
It is true that
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many
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countries
in the world faces
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different
types of problems
especially
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lack
of food and
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education
.
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Some
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people
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think
that rich
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countries
should support poor
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countries
by providing adequate food and
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education
, while others argue it is the
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government’s
task to look after its
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citizens
. In my view, wealthy
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nations
should support the poor to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent if there is a scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources and the infrastructure in the country.

There is no doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for the well-being of its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is elected
by its
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people
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so
it is the responsibility of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to provide the basic needs of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should define the plans to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the welfare of the
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citizens
. It should identify and
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use
the
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natural
resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the economy of the
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country
.
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Lack
of planning will result in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and low standard of living.

On the other hand
, due to inadequate
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natural
resources,
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some
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countries
are unable to raise the standards on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
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countries
are
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affected
by severe droughts and water scarcity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it difficult for
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people
to lead normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. In these cases, wealthy
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nations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to
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get
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people
out of the difficulties.
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Government
of poorer
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nation
are unable to design the long-term plan
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because
of
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lack
of funds and scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources.
Rather
than helping
financially
, wealthy
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nations
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
teaching materials for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and trainers for improving infrastructure in long run.

To conclude
, rich
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countries
should
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help
the poorer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
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only
if the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
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lacks
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources to support their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. If they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
local resources then it should be the concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
responsibility to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the standard of living for its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
.
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IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth with poorer nations by providing them with things such as food and education? Or is this the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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