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Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it a responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it a responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves? POl2
In the modern world, there is a debate about the division of wealth between nations. Some people believe that it is the question of justices to provide poor countries with food and education, others are sure that only the governments of such countries are responsible for controlling their citizens. I oppose the second view and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. To get started I would like to remind you of common knowledge: we live at the age of interconnection, even more consequently we are part of one community- human beings. Even though people are unequal we all have the same biology and needs. Moreover, as far as I have been concerned everyone should do his/her best to make our world a better place to live in. Consequently, humans must support each other, since it may happen that one day we ought to get help. What is more, it is obvious that poor economies are suffering from a lack of having abundance facilities and resources in the fields such as education or food, and they have no chance to survive on their own. As a result, the level of criminal actions raises, people die in torment. For example, consider Venezuela. Since the beginning of the 21st century, the country has been experiencing an acute economic crisis and is a crime leader. This proves the above statement. Summing up, supporting countries with poor economies will cause the reduction of the level of poverty, the development of interethnic communications and, most importantly, this will contribute to the development of humanity.
In the modern world, there is a debate about the division of wealth between nations.
Some
people
believe that it is the question of justices to provide poor
countries
with food and education, others are sure that
only
the
governments
of such
countries
are responsible for controlling their citizens. I oppose the second view and my reasons will be
explained
in the following paragraphs.

To
get
started
I would like to remind you of common knowledge: we
live
at the age of interconnection, even more
consequently
we are part of one community- human beings.
Even though
people
are unequal we all have the same biology and needs.
Moreover
, as far as I have
been concerned
everyone should do his/her best to
make
our world a better place to
live
in.
Consequently
, humans
must
support each other, since it may happen that one day we ought to
get
help
.

What is more
, it is obvious that poor economies are suffering from a lack of having abundance facilities and resources in the fields such as education or food, and they have no chance to survive on their
own
.
As a result
, the level of criminal actions raises,
people
die
in torment.
For example
, consider Venezuela. Since the beginning of the 21st century, the
country
has been experiencing an acute economic crisis and is a crime leader. This proves the above statement.

Summing up, supporting
countries
with poor economies will cause the reduction of the level of poverty, the development of
interethnic
communications and, most
importantly
, this will contribute to the development of humanity.
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IELTS essay Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it a responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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