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Should students not be required to take physical education courses

Should students not be required to take physical education courses NrM2j
Beside acedemic performace, physical education play an important role in the development of children. However, there is a argument that whether physical education should be removed from curriculum. From my perspectives, I totally disagree with this opinion because of two main reasons First of all, physical education increases students' physical health. regular physical activity during youth is known to have the following benerfits such as, buiding healthy bones, improving strength and endurance, helping control weight and so on. According to The U. S. Department of Health and human Services, it is recommended that 60 munutes of daily exersise for youth aged 6- 17 years is the best way to have a strong body. A good heath also prevents students from serious illnesses such as heart deseases diabetes Additionly, physical education in school has been shown to have positive effects upon acedamic performace. When students are stressed from their studies, they may become angry and adapt negative attitudes. Rather than students performing unfavorable and harmful activities, physical education classes provide options that may reduce or even relieve students’ stress. Studies show that a mere 20 minutes of walking affects brain funcioning, helping to stimulate students' mind and improve acadamic sucess. Clearly, it's necessary for students to practice physical activities at school. As the result, schools should promote physical education as an optional class with valuable benefits and encourage the to take part in.
Beside
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acedemic
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performace
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in the development of children.
However
, there is
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
argument that whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
be removed
from curriculum. From my perspectives, I
totally
disagree with this opinion
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two main reasons
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
increases students'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
regular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activity during youth
is known
to have the following
Possible spelling mistake found.
benerfits
such as,
Possible spelling mistake found.
buiding
healthy bones, improving strength and endurance, helping control weight and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. According to The U. S. Department of Health and human Services, it
is recommended
that 60
Possible spelling mistake found.
munutes
of daily
Possible spelling mistake found.
exersise
for youth aged
Consider using an n-dash (half dash), if you want to indicate numerical ranges or time ranges.
6- 17
years is the best way to have a strong body. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
heath
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from serious illnesses such as heart
Possible spelling mistake found.
deseases
diabetes
Possible spelling mistake found.
Additionly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in school has
been shown
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects upon
Possible spelling mistake found.
acedamic
Possible spelling mistake found.
performace
. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
from their studies, they may become angry and adapt
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attitudes.
Rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
performing unfavorable and harmful activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
classes provide options that may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
or even relieve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that a mere 20 minutes of walking affects brain
Possible spelling mistake found.
funcioning
, helping to stimulate students' mind and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
acadamic
Possible spelling mistake found.
sucess
.
Clearly
, it's necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to practice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
activities at school. As the result, schools should promote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
as an optional
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
with valuable benefits and encourage the to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in.
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IELTS essay Should students not be required to take physical education courses

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
232 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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