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It is better for college students to live far away from home

It is better for college students to live far away from home peGd9
The question of whether undergraduates should live independently of their parents while in college is one that I find both fascinating and very personal. While many people would agree with this, I feel it is dependent on the individual's culture and upbringing at home. This is extremely frequent in many industrialized or emerging European or American countries. When we become university students, we will be able to live independently of our parents for the first time. It is important to make meaningful change. Living independently from parents at a young age is commonly accepted and encouraged, especially when students reach the age of eighteen and are able to support themselves. Most students hunt for part-time employment near their schools in order to fund their finances or obtain vital work experience. Others will spend their time improving their soft skills or participating in campus programmes and activities. This component, I believe, might help us motivate ourselves to grow in our thinking and maximize our potential and capacity. More than that, this is how we express ourselves and fulfill our desire to impress our family and other important people in our lives. Traditional values of strong familial devotion, on the other hand, play a vital part in the lives of young people in many Asian nations, such as Vietnam. Furthermore, Asian parents are overly protective of their children and, at times, show undue worry for them, despite the fact that they are adults who need to be independent, which can cause more harm than good. However, because most universities in Vietnam are located in huge cities or centrally controlled cities, it is normal for students to live independently while studying at university level. To complete their studies, out-of-province students must remain in a dormitory or rent a place off-campus. They continue to get substantial financial support from their parents to pay for big bills such as rent. A few people can pay for their personal living and leisure expenses, but they are in the minority. I believe that being too protective of their children, as well as the fact that the college student does not learn how to live independently, has a detrimental influence on their future since they may acquire a money-dependent lifestyle. They may be too sluggish to work hard and have no idea how to handle their finances. In summary, I think that living close to schools and universities away from home will be beneficial for students' learning. It can help them get rid of a dependent lifestyle, learn to grow and strive for their own future.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
undergraduates should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
while in college is one that I find both fascinating and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
personal. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this, I feel it is dependent on the individual's culture and upbringing at home.

This is
extremely
frequent in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
industrialized or emerging European or American countries. When we become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, we will be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
for the
first
time. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
meaningful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
. Living
The usual collocation for "independently" is "of" not "from". Did you mean "independently of"?
independently from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
at a young age is
commonly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
and encouraged,
especially
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
reach the age of eighteen and are able to support themselves. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
hunt for part-time employment near their schools in order to fund their finances or obtain vital work experience. Others will spend their time improving their soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
or participating in campus
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
and activities. This component, I believe, might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us motivate ourselves to grow in our thinking and maximize our potential and capacity. More than that, this is how we express ourselves and fulfill our desire to impress our family and other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Traditional values of strong familial devotion,
on the other hand
, play a vital part in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Asian nations, such as Vietnam.
Furthermore
, Asian
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are
overly
protective of their children and, at times,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
undue worry for them, despite the fact that they are adults who need to be independent, which can cause more harm than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
in Vietnam
are located
in huge cities or
centrally
controlled cities, it is normal for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
while studying at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level. To complete their studies, out-of-province
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remain in a dormitory or rent a place off-campus. They continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
substantial financial support from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to pay for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
bills such as rent. A few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can pay for their personal living and leisure expenses,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they are in the minority. I believe that being too protective of their children,
as well
as the fact that the college
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
does not learn how to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
independently
, has a detrimental influence on their future since they may acquire a money-dependent lifestyle. They may be too sluggish to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and have no
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
how to handle their finances.

In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that living close to schools and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
away from home will be beneficial for students' learning. It can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of a dependent lifestyle, learn to grow and strive for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
future.
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IELTS essay It is better for college students to live far away from home

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
428 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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