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Should some profit be given to the community by long-term job seekers in receipt of government by persuading them to do voluntary?

Should some profit be given to the community by long-term job seekers in receipt of government by persuading them to do voluntary? eRArx
Actually, I partially agree. I reckon it is beneficial for job seekers in addition to community because rather than being free at home it is good to do any work and assist to the community for learning and earning. There are numerous things you can do to make your time busy. Social interactivity is essential to get some skills like responsibility, capability, involvement with people, these kind of things can make you reasonable. So many ideas of different professions, businesses, trade can make you steady. It can give you huge ways to work efficiently and transparently so job seekers should glued with these type of activities it will make your profile amazing. On the other hand working for government without getting salary can irk you because somewhat money is crucial to for us however if you are not be paid for the work you are doing, many trevails will come in your way that is reason it is necessary to have wage to survive in life to be easy. If a person doing work and have no salary would make him or her depressive and anxious just because in our country there is not any type of solution by government to survive when we have no occupation. If one has a family (children, wife) then how could he do all the things with no pay it is difficult here, even though you have a little business you can not run your home easily further more it is a technological era that has become a need for the people then how can jobless survive so it depends on oneself; How can he or she earn money. There are ways to get work with involving in society. In the conclusion It is argued by minority of people, should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits made to do work as voluntary I somewhat agree with this point because if we work without having salary can make difficulties in our life because government is not facilitating us with free money for jobless one and other thing is it can also be beneficial to us. With these type of social activities we become fast and steady. steady.
Actually, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. I reckon it is beneficial for job seekers
in addition
to community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
rather
than being free at home it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to do any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and assist to the community for learning and earning. There are numerous things you can do to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your time busy. Social interactivity is essential to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like responsibility, capability, involvement with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of things can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you reasonable.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
professions, businesses, trade can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you steady. It can give you huge ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
efficiently
and
transparently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
job seekers should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "glue"
glued
with these type of activities it will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
your profile amazing.

On the other hand
working for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
without getting salary can irk you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
somewhat money is crucial to for us
however
if you are not
be paid
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
you are doing,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
trevails
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
in your way
that is
reason it is necessary to have wage to survive in life to be easy. If a person doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and have no salary would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
him or her depressive and anxious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
in our country there is not any type of solution by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to survive when we have no occupation. If one has a family (children, wife) then how could he do all the things with no pay it is difficult here,
even though
you have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
business you can not run your home
easily
further
more it is a technological era that has become a need for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
then how can jobless survive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it depends on oneself; How can he or she
The pronoun 'she' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "earns", "earned".
earn
money. There are ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
with involving in society.

In the conclusion

It
is argued
by minority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, should long-term job seekers in receipt of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
benefits made to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as voluntary I somewhat
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
without having salary can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
difficulties in our life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is not facilitating us with free money for jobless one and other thing is it can
also
be beneficial to us. With these type of social activities we become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and steady.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
steady
.
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IELTS essay Should some profit be given to the community by long-term job seekers in receipt of government by persuading them to do voluntary?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
364 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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