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Should shgary food be made more expensive

Should shgary food be made more expensive j9PnX
It can not be refuted that Health problem is majorly caused by consumption of large quantities of sugary items. In order to encourage citizens to consume less sugar, should these products be made costly? I think that political administrators should definitely take a lead on making the sugar commodity expensive, and the analysis contain in the below paragraphs will explore my reasons for saying the same. The advantages of making the sugar products expensive are undeniable. Consumption of sugar can cause major health issues, and a person’s weight can be increased by feeding on such products. While having fat in the body to some extend is good for the digestive system; however, there are many problems in the body such as obesity, heart problem and diabetes. Moreover, having sugar in the body can make the citizens more lethargic with household chores. Take for example, Sushmita, a young lady in India, who consumed too much sugar and due to that couldn’t move her body little bit and due to this she eventually killed her. On the other hand, the arguments against not increasing the price of the items are also convincing. We are living in a democratic world, and here people are given liberty to do anything they want, if it doesn’t break any rules; therefore, instead of forcing the people to pay extra, government should step back and given them their own freedom of choice. In addition to this, by not increasing the price, we can also avoid riots and maintain peace within the nation. All said and done, in my opinion, increasing the price for a sugar brand is an extremely good option because it the numerous future benefits. Firstly, life expectancy of the citizens will be increased if they will eat less sugar in their food, and more importantly, government can get a chance to use the extra money obtained from the sales of such items and can allocate it in the areas where expansion is required. To conclude, I would day that I strongly feel that the issue of health is of overriding importance. To my mind, government should definitely impose heavy taxes on sugar products.
It can not
be refuted
that Health problem is
majorly
caused by consumption of large quantities of sugary items. In order to encourage citizens to consume less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
, should these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
be made
costly? I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that political administrators should definitely take a lead on making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
commodity expensive, and the analysis contain in the below paragraphs will explore my reasons for saying the same.

The advantages of making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
expensive are undeniable. Consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
can cause major health issues, and a person’s weight can
be increased
by feeding on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. While having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean the noun "extent"?
extend
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for the digestive system;
however
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
such as obesity, heart problem and diabetes.
Moreover
, having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the citizens more lethargic with household chores. Take
for example
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Sushmita
, a young lady in India, who consumed too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
and due to that couldn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
body
Reduce redundancy by using "little" or "bit".
little bit
and due to this she
eventually
killed her.

On the other hand
, the arguments against not increasing the price of the items are
also
convincing. We are living in a democratic world, and here
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
liberty to do anything they want, if it doesn’t break any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
;
therefore
,
instead
of forcing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to pay extra,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should step back and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
them their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
freedom of choice.
In addition
to this, by not increasing the price, we can
also
avoid riots and maintain peace within the nation.

All said and done, in my opinion, increasing the price for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
brand is an
extremely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
It seems that a verb is missing after "it". Please verify.
it
the numerous future benefits.
Firstly
, life expectancy of the citizens will
be increased
if they will eat less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
in their food, and more
importantly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the extra money obtained from the sales of such items and can allocate it in the areas where expansion
is required
.
To conclude
, I
The word 'day' is a noun or an adjective. A verb or adverb is missing or misspelled here, or maybe a comma is missing.
would day
that I
strongly
feel that the issue of health is of overriding importance. To my mind,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should definitely impose heavy taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
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IELTS essay Should shgary food be made more expensive

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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