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Should schools remove non-academic subjects from the syllabus?

Should schools remove non-academic subjects from the syllabus? 6mkoG
There is no denying the fact that school children are under tremendous pressure to perform well in academics. It is not surprising, though. Students who score high grades in academics are more likely to have a successful career in the future. Most schools these days have a curriculum that includes both academic and non-academic subjects. However, many parents and teachers believe that non-academic subjects should be removed from the curriculum so that children can focus on academics. This might sound logical but I do not believe that removing non-academic subjects is the solution. To start with, non-academic activities like dance, drama, singing, cookery or physical education cause hardly any stress. In fact, they provide relaxation and help students concentrate better on academic subjects. Also, learning these subjects is essential for the overall development of children. There are many more reasons to include non-academic subjects in the curriculum. Not all students are academically brilliant. However, this will not be an issue if the student has skills in other areas. For example, a student does not need an A grade in physics or mathematics to be a successful singer, writer or painter. By encouraging students to engage in extra-curricular activities, schools can bring out their hidden talents. This will help not only the students but also the society. After all, not everybody is required to be a doctor or an engineer. The world needs athletes, writers, chefs and actors as well. To conclude, there is no point is eliminating non-academic subjects from the syllabus. In my opinion, schools should encourage students to pursue a career in a field of their choice. This would not be possible without including a variety of topics in the curriculum.
There is no denying the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children are under tremendous pressure to perform well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
. It is not surprising, though.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who score high grades in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
are more likely to have a successful career in the future. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
these days have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
that includes both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents and teachers believe that non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should
be removed
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that children can focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
. This might sound logical
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I do not believe that removing non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is the solution.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, non-academic activities like dance, drama, singing, cookery or physical education cause hardly any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. In fact, they provide relaxation and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
concentrate better on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
Also
, learning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is essential for the
overall
development of children.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more reasons to include non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
. Not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
academically
brilliant.
However
, this will not be an issue if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in other areas.
For example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
does not need an A grade in physics or mathematics to be a successful singer, writer or painter.

By encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to engage in extra-curricular activities,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
can bring out their hidden talents. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the society.
After all
, not everybody
is required
to be a doctor or an engineer. The world needs athletes, writers, chefs and actors
as well
.

To conclude
, there is no point is eliminating non-academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
from the syllabus. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to pursue a career in a field of their choice. This would not be possible without including a variety of topics in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
curriculum
.
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IELTS essay Should schools remove non-academic subjects from the syllabus?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
283 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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