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Many people today think that dangerous sports should be banned. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or

Many people today think that dangerous sports should be banned. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or b2oEQ
Nowadays, people have the opportunities to play a wide range of sports, yet, for some, there is a need to add an element of danger to their ‘play’. I feel that these high-risk sports should be banned as people get hurt unnecessarily, which is a burden for families and hospitals too. One sport that has grown in popularity is called ‘street luge’. It is whereby people race down mountain roads lying on a skateboard and reach speeds of up to 100 km an hour. I read an article in the New York Times about how this sport had led to the deaths of 57 deaths of predominantly young men in the last 4 years as there were very few regulations and protective equipment was used reluctantly. To me this is such a waste of life and we wouldn’t have lost so many young men if this sport had been banned. Further to this, dangerous sports and the injuries/deaths that arise from doing them take their toll on hospitals too. To take another example, in the Verdon Gorge in France, tens of thousands of people go there every year to free climb the limestone cliffs. This has led to the local hospitals being overwhelmed with injuries at times as well as helicopter medical crews putting their lives in danger as they have to collect injured climbers from precarious locations. The French health service is free yet it is unfair that the French public should have to pay for these people who have been injured trying to get their ‘fix’. To conclude, people putting their lives in danger to take part in a sport seems to me to be futile and has led to a waste of life and a financial burden for the public.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have the opportunities to play a wide range of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
,
yet
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, there is a need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
an element of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to their ‘play’. I feel that these high-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be banned
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hurt
unnecessarily
, which is a burden for families and hospitals too.

One
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
that has grown in popularity
is called
‘street luge’. It is whereby
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
race down mountain roads lying on a skateboard and reach speeds of up to 100 km an hour. I read an article in the New York Times about how this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
had led to the deaths of 57 deaths of
predominantly
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
in the last 4 years as there were
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
few regulations and protective equipment was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
reluctantly
. To me this is such a waste of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
life and
we wouldn’t have lost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
if this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
had
been banned
.

Further
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and the injuries/deaths that arise from doing them take their toll on hospitals too. To take another example, in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Verdon
Gorge in France, tens of thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go there every year to free climb the limestone cliffs. This has led to the local hospitals
being overwhelmed
with injuries at times
as well
as helicopter medical crews putting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
as they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
collect injured climbers from precarious locations. The French health service is free
yet
it is unfair that the French public should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have
been injured
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their ‘
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
’.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
putting their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
seems to me to be futile and has led to a waste of life and a financial burden for the public.
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IELTS essay Many people today think that dangerous sports should be banned. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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