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Should people everywhere be required to use public transport?

Should people everywhere be required to use public transport? Orwok
Whether or not people should take advantage of public transport remains controversial. Most people believe that using public transport is a worth solution for environment. Some assert that private vehicles are more convenient because they can adjust their schedules easily. To my way of thinking, environmental problems are alarming, and people should be demanded to use public transports for the good of many. On the one hand, health of the community would be improved, which is the top issue that takes a great consideration in many countries. In other words, when people use public transports, the amount of gas emissions, carbon footprint would be decrease as well as the factors that may make humans suffer from ailments. Recent research suggests that there is a strong link between a healthier lifestyle and a lower mortality rate. In fact, people who walk to work are said to be be more productive at work. On the other hand, public vehicles help reduce road congestions, which needs to be tackled with due to the development of transports. To be more specific, the more private cars on road, the more crowded the road is. It is undeniably true that private transports are much comfortable in every aspect. However, the Earth is facing with various environmental problems such as climate change, global warming, and traffic jams also contribute in those. Moreover, the reduction in usage of owned cars may also minimize the fuel consumption. For instance, public transports in America use results in a reduction of 450 million gallons of gas being burned. It is an impressive number in this revolution. It might be one of the difficult tasks to do but the value of this would not make people disappointed. Therefore, people not only make use of fuels but also protect the environment better. In conclusion, I strong believe that governments, countries should enhance the use of public transports owing to the advantages that it makes. Thus, the environment could be reduced the great damage that people do.
Consider shortening this phrase to just "Whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
Whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should take advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
remains controversial. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
is a worth solution for environment.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
assert that private vehicles are more convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can adjust their schedules
easily
. To my way of thinking, environmental problems are alarming, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
be demanded
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.

On the one hand, health of the community would be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
, which is the top issue that takes a great consideration in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries.
In other words
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
, the amount of gas emissions, carbon footprint would be decrease
as well
as the factors that may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
humans suffer from ailments. Recent research suggests that there is a strong link between a healthier lifestyle and a lower mortality rate. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who walk to work
are said
to
Possible typo: you repeated a word
be be
more productive at work.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
vehicles
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
road congestions, which needs to
be tackled
with due to the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
. To be more specific, the more private cars on road, the more crowded the road is. It is
undeniably
true that private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
are much comfortable in every aspect.
However
, the Earth is facing with various environmental problems such as climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
, global warming, and traffic jams
also
contribute in those.
Moreover
, the reduction in usage of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
owned
cars may
also
minimize the fuel consumption.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
in America
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
results in a reduction of 450 million gallons of gas
being burned
. It is an impressive number in this revolution. It might be one of the difficult tasks to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the value of this would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
disappointed.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fuels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
protect the environment better.

In conclusion
, I strong
Did you mean "belief" (noun) instead of believe (verb)?
believe
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
, countries should enhance the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
owing to the advantages that it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
.
Thus
, the environment could be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the great damage that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do.
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IELTS essay Should people everywhere be required to use public transport?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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