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Should parents teach children to avoid taking risks?

Should parents teach children to avoid taking risks? 8xXmm
Some people think that wild animals should not be kept in zoos. Others believe that there are good reasons for having zoos. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion Wild animals are kept in zoos all over world. At present, zoos are a tourist attraction in many countries and need wild animals to attract vistors. I beleve that wild creatures should not be kept in zoos and there should be alternative ways to see them. There are many good reasons for having zoos in our cities. Most importantly, they attract tourists and make money for city. Visitors get chance to see wild animals that they would not see unless they travelled far away. Rare species, like Chinese panda, or Indian tiger, or African rhino for example, are endangered and if we had no zoos they would die. Zoos care for these aminals and give us chance to see them. Therefore, we cannot underestimate teh educational importance of zoos. However, many people feel that wild animals should be free. They should not be kept in cages and small areas in zoo. This is cruel for animal and they often die because they is not in natural habitat. We frequently see news story about rare animals dying in zoos or getting sick because area is not big enough or suitable for wild animals like lions or polar bears. Also, these animals are unhappy and sometimes attack humans. Caging wild animals is unhealthy for the animals and is cruel. Both views put forward valid points, however, I strongly believe that zoos are no place for wild animals. If animals need to be cared for, they should be looked after in theier natural habitat in game parks or wildlife reserves. Goverments should look after the precious wild animals at their country and should close down zoos that profit from them. In conclusion, although people believe that zoos are good places to keep wild animals because they can earn money and educate people, I feel that we do not need zoos anymore. We can look at wild animals on the internet and we can feel happy knowing that they are free.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos. Others believe that there are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons for having zoos.

Discuss both these views and give your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
opinion

Wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos all over world. At present, zoos are a tourist attraction in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries and need wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to attract
Possible spelling mistake found.
vistors
. I
Possible spelling mistake found.
beleve
that wild creatures should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in zoos and there should be alternative ways to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
reasons for having zoos in our cities. Most
importantly
, they attract tourists and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money for city. Visitors
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
that they would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
unless they travelled far away. Rare species, like Chinese panda, or Indian tiger, or African rhino
for example
,
are endangered
and if we had no zoos they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
. Zoos care for these
Possible spelling mistake found.
aminals
and give us chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
them.
Therefore
, we cannot underestimate
Possible spelling mistake found.
teh
educational importance of zoos.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be free. They should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in cages and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
areas in zoo. This is cruel for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
animal and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
Use third-person plural verb with 'they': "are", "were".
is
not in natural habitat. We
frequently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
news story about rare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
dying in zoos or getting sick
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
area is not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
or suitable for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like lions or polar bears.
Also
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are unhappy and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
attack humans. Caging wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is unhealthy for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and is cruel.

Both views put forward valid points,
however
, I
strongly
believe that zoos are no place for wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
need to
be cared
for, they should
be looked
after in
Possible spelling mistake found.
theier
natural habitat in game parks or wildlife reserves.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverments
should look after the precious wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
at their country and should close down zoos that profit from them.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that zoos are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
places to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can earn money and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I feel that we do not need zoos anymore. We can look at wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
on the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
internet and
we can feel happy knowing that they are free.
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IELTS essay Should parents teach children to avoid taking risks?

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
358 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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