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Should parents be more obliged to immunise their children against common childhood diseases or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their child.

Exclusion is necessary in todays era some parents believe that they should oblige to immunise their children against some diseases whereas others argue that It is individual choice to immunise their children or not. However i believe that government should over the individuals and oblige to immunise. I will describe both point of view in next paragraph. Government should obliged to immunise their children. Even many parents are unaware about vaccination. 1st of all the government must be aware to individuals about benefits of emirates and they should provide vaccination through camp or campaign for them who does Not able to pay much money. This activity would be prevent such diseases for instance polio. This vaccination prevent to paralysis, which can be seen in many children from their childhood. Although some parent award to immunise their children and believe that they will do in future if required. Moreover they think that taking vaccination which leads to side effects after long time even many children die due to this reason. So they believe its individual choice and immunise their children if necessary. To conclusion government should aware all individuals about vaccination and provide them as free of cost who does not able to pay more money.
Exclusion is necessary in
Possible spelling mistake found.
todays
era
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they should oblige to
Possible spelling mistake. 'immunise' is British English.
immunise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
diseases whereas others argue that It is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
choice to
Possible spelling mistake. 'immunise' is British English.
immunise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
or not.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
and oblige to
Possible spelling mistake. 'immunise' is British English.
immunise
. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
describe
both point of view in
next
paragraph.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "oblige"
obliged
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'immunise' is British English.
immunise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents are unaware about vaccination. 1st of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be aware to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
about benefits of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
emirates and
they should provide vaccination through camp or campaign for them who does Not able to pay much money. This activity would be
Consider using the past participle "prevented"?
prevent
such diseases
for instance
polio. This vaccination
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
to paralysis, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
from their childhood. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "parents"?
parent
award to
Possible spelling mistake. 'immunise' is British English.
immunise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that they will do in future if required.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that taking vaccination which leads to side effects after long time even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
due to this reason.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
choice and
Possible spelling mistake. 'immunise' is British English.
immunise
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if necessary. To conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should aware all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individuals
about vaccination and provide them as free of cost who does not able to pay more money.
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IELTS essay Should parents be more obliged to immunise their children against common childhood diseases or do individuals have the right to choose not to immunise their child.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
205 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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