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Should mothers stay at home to raise their children?

Should mothers stay at home to raise their children? R2j1Q
Some people think that mothers should spend a lot of time raising children more than do others. Therefore the government should support them financially. In my opinion, modern women should have their job outside the home and the government has more pressing issues to care about rather than investing in those projects. There is no need for mothers to be at home doing the household chores. With the aids of advanced application, the housework seems to be easier to be done than ever before, which means that mothers may pursue their career path outside of the home. In addition, the roles of women have changed inside today's contemporary families and their husbands can share household chores, taking care of children with them. Regarding child-raising, women now can have various choices, ranging from letting their kids be looked after by teachers at nurseries or private kindergartens or by grandparents. When they are free from the duty of childcare, they may be earning their livings by finding a job. What is more, I personally believe that most modern women are in favor of independence. They desire to get entitled to the exposure of an open world rather than suffer from the boredom of being at home all day long. Due to the rapid increase in the rate of inflation and costs of living, wives are required to own a job to ensure the material well-being of their family and partly share with their husbands the financial responsibility. Moreover, I am of the belief that if we prioritized assisting financially disadvantaged mothers, crucial problems such as education, medical care, and environmental protection could possibly be overlooked. The practice of allocating huge money to this project could lead the governmental officials no choice but to lower the budget for the aforementioned matters. Because of unsolved problems, the human's living quality of that country might be worsened. Some specific cases that are accessible to financial assistance include grants for retired people or disabled ex-servicemen. In a nutshell, I think women need not spend most of their time raising their children, and that it is unnecessary for governments to give mothers any financial support and that money should be devoted to other vexing issues in society.
Some
people
think
that mothers should spend
a lot of
time raising children more than do others.
Therefore
the
government
should support them
financially
. In my opinion, modern
women
should have their job outside the home and the
government
has more pressing issues to care about
rather
than investing in those projects.

There is no need for mothers to be at home doing the household chores. With the aids of advanced application, the housework seems to be easier to
be done
than ever
before
, which means that mothers may pursue their career path
outside of
the home.
In addition
, the roles of
women
have
changed
inside
today
's contemporary families and their husbands can share household chores, taking care of children with them. Regarding child-raising,
women
now
can have various choices, ranging from letting their kids
be looked
after by teachers at nurseries or private kindergartens or by grandparents. When they are free from the duty of childcare, they may be earning their livings by finding a job.
What is more
, I
personally
believe that most modern
women
are in favor of independence. They desire to
get
entitled to the exposure of an open world
rather
than suffer from the boredom of being at home all day long. Due to the rapid increase in the rate of inflation and costs of living, wives
are required
to
own
a job to ensure the material well-being of their family and partly share with their husbands the financial responsibility.

Moreover
, I am of the belief that if we prioritized assisting
financially
disadvantaged mothers, crucial problems such as education, medical care, and environmental protection could
possibly
be overlooked
. The practice of allocating huge money to this project could lead the governmental officials no choice
but
to lower the budget for the aforementioned matters.
Because
of unsolved problems, the human's living quality of that country might
be worsened
.
Some
specific cases that are accessible to financial assistance include grants for retired
people
or disabled ex-servicemen.

In a nutshell, I
think
women
need not spend most of their time raising their children, and that it is unnecessary for
governments
to give mothers any financial support and that money should
be devoted
to other vexing issues in society.
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IELTS essay Should mothers stay at home to raise their children?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
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