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should mobile phones be prohibited in public places

should mobile phones be prohibited in public places nE9Xo
Whether mobile phones should be prohibited in public places ignites a debate. Some people believe that this could exert positive impacts on work environment while others claim that the usage of mobile phones contributes to facilitating communication between people. I partly support the statement on the following grounds On the one hand, there are several benefits of using mobile phones. You can contact immediately to anyone you like instead of waiting for their letters like the elderly did. Millions of people are able to access the internet in cafes, libraries, or other public places, which could help them always be up-to-date. Mobile phones have a variety of functions to keep you from not getting bored when waiting in lines in public places. What’s more, you can do online shopping, watching films, listening to music, even studying with only 1 device. Banning mobile phones would make it impossible to search for direction or products in a shopping mall in the easiest way. In fact, mobile phones also work wonders in emergency cases to rescue people in danger by contacting the concerned people. In most public online meetings, smart mobile phones are indispensable. They are seen as the most money and time-efficient tools to connect people regardless of physical distance. With searching functions attached, they bestow students such ideal opportunities to study and access the reservoir of information and knowledge instead of going to libraries, suffering pollution and congestion. On the other hand, their existence could exert detrimental effects on one’s life. Youngsters these days are addicted to mobile phones, which can lead to their poor eyesight. Moreover, mobile phone will cause a great deal of noise in public places needed to be quiet. For instance, in a library, the mobile ringtone or the phone conversation will distract and irritate people. By virtue of mobile phones’ usage in private means of transport, there had been countless accidents on a daily basis. Not only do people become irritated when hearing its noise in libraries, but work places could also be affected. Surveys have shown that excessive noise by mobile phones results in lower productivity in companies with many staff in addition to the growing incidence of robberies in the public places. People’s shouting and talking in bus via mobile phone are also seen as impolite. Intensive exposure to mobile phone might make people vulnerable to hearing impairment, depression, and autism In conclusion, although mobile phone is a big distraction, I hold firm to my belief that mobile phones should not be banned. Thus, there should be a restriction whenever people use it in public places.
“Whether” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Whether
mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should
be prohibited
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
ignites a debate.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that this could exert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on work environment while others claim that the usage of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
contributes to facilitating communication between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I partly support the statement on the following
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
grounds


On the one hand, there are several benefits of using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. You can contact immediately to anyone you like
instead
of waiting for their letters like the elderly did. Millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to access the internet in
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, libraries, or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them
The adverb 'always' is usually put after the verb 'be'.
always be
up-to-date. Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have a variety of functions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you from not getting bored when waiting in lines in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. What’s more, you can do online shopping, watching films, listening to music, even studying with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
1 device. Banning mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it impossible to search for direction or products in a shopping mall in the easiest way. In fact, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
also
work wonders in emergency cases to rescue
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
by contacting the concerned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
online meetings, smart mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are indispensable. They are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as the most money and time-efficient tools to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
regardless of physical distance. With searching functions attached, they bestow students such ideal opportunities to study and access the reservoir of information and knowledge
instead
of going to libraries, suffering pollution and congestion.

On the other hand
, their existence could exert detrimental effects on one’s life. Youngsters these days
are addicted
to mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, which can lead to their poor eyesight.
Moreover
, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
will cause a great deal of noise in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
needed to be quiet.
For instance
, in a library, the mobile ringtone or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
conversation will distract and irritate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By virtue of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones’
usage in private means of transport, there had been countless accidents on a daily basis. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become irritated when hearing its noise in libraries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
work
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
could
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. Surveys have shown that excessive noise by mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
results in lower productivity in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Use a plural noun after 'many' or use "staff members".
staff
in addition
to the growing incidence of robberies in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People’s
shouting and talking in bus via mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
are
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as impolite. Intensive exposure to mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
vulnerable to hearing impairment, depression, and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
autism


In conclusion
, although mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
distraction, I hold firm to my belief that mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should not
be banned
.
Thus
, there should be a restriction whenever
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
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IELTS essay should mobile phones be prohibited in public places

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
432 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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