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Should information share freely. Discuss both view

Should information share freely. Discuss both view 5Leep
Some people suppose that information involved in scientific research, business and education should be free to access, conversely some argue that information is like a private asset which is pricely. In the age of technology information is valuable as much as oil therefore many companies conduct collecting information about their customers. Many questions arise, inditional to should information be shared freely? It is indisputable that information is the one of the most essential keys to be successful in business because it allows enterprise to respond to customers' desires and tracking their behavior, consequently, a lot of companies dedicate to make research and invest inestimable fund on research project to deliberately advertising product to potential customers. Somehow we are drowning in endless information because of nowaday vast majority of people can access the internet, which allows us to seek for needed information. There are a ton of given information on internet for free and easy to find, these information probably present by the government because they want to improve quality in education on their citizens, as well as google, known well as free search engine. All in all, i strongly believe that most of free information is sufficient for most of people, however in some case there are valuable information that should not be free because there is the cost hidden in the background.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suppose that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
involved in scientific research, business and education should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to access,
conversely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is like a private asset which is
Possible spelling mistake found.
pricely
. In the age of technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is valuable as much as oil
therefore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
conduct collecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about their customers.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
questions arise,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inditional
to should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
be shared
freely
?

It is indisputable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is the one of the most essential keys to be successful in business
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
enterprise to respond to customers' desires and tracking their behavior,
consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
dedicate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
research and invest inestimable fund on research project to
deliberately
advertising product to potential customers.

Somehow we are drowning in endless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
Possible spelling mistake found.
nowaday
vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can access the internet, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to seek for needed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. There are a ton of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on internet for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and easy to find, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
probably
present by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality in education on their citizens,
as well
as google, known well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
search engine.

All in all,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
strongly
believe that most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is sufficient for most of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
however
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case there are valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
that should not be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is the cost hidden in the background.
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IELTS essay Should information share freely. Discuss both view

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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