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Should happiness, not wealth, be the way society measures success?

Should happiness, not wealth, be the way society measures success? 66Yor
Sometimes people think that success can be measured by happiness while others think it is wealth what makes you fortunate. This essay will discuss what determines a successful life. The real truth is that it is difficult to tell if someone is happy or sad as it is something internal and an attribute of an individual that everyone strongly desires and it is a goal to aspire, however; it will not guarantee you success if the person did not work on his skills. On the other side, being successful in life will automatically make you happy and contented not the opposite. Conversely, money is not the only measure of success, yet a massive number of people think that money has the power to change everything and makes you more respectful, wealthy, content with life, and gives the experience of ultimate happiness. Moreover, people today are looking for more income and keep changing jobs looking for a higher salary. Nevertheless, people without goals are visionless in life. No matter how much money may one have, it is virtually impossible to have a genuine success in life. To conclude, I believe that money plays a significant role in life of an individual, especially in terms of financial engagements, such as bills, rent, education, and entertainment; however, in my opinion, wealth is not an enough factor to make a successful person. Therefore, success is a blend of numerous factors including wealth and happiness, and it is about a goal oriented life. Finally, true success in life is seldom achieved by chance, but by setting clear achievable goals.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
can
be measured
by happiness while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is wealth what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you fortunate. This essay will discuss what determines a successful life.

The real truth is that it is difficult to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
if someone is happy or sad as it is something internal and an attribute of an individual that everyone
strongly
desires and it is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
to aspire,
however
; it will not guarantee you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
if the person did not work on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. On the other side, being successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
automatically
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
you happy and contented not the opposite.

Conversely
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
measure of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
yet
a massive number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
has the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
everything and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
you more respectful, wealthy, content with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, and gives the experience of ultimate happiness.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are looking for more income and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
changing jobs looking for a higher salary.
Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
visionless
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. No matter how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may one have, it is
virtually
impossible to have a genuine
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in life.

To conclude
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
plays a significant role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
of an individual,
especially
in terms of financial engagements, such as bills, rent, education, and entertainment;
however
, in my opinion, wealth is not an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
factor to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a successful person.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is a blend of numerous factors including wealth and happiness, and it is about a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goal
oriented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Finally
, true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is seldom achieved by chance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
by setting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
achievable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
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IELTS essay Should happiness, not wealth, be the way society measures success?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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