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Should governments regulate fast foods in the same way as drug, alcohol, and tobacco

Should governments regulate fast foods in the same way as drug, alcohol, and tobacco LbB2G
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on the opinion that governments should regulate strictly fast foods in the same way as drugs, alcohol and tobacco. In my opinion, I tottaly agree with that statement for the following reasons. Firstly, fast foods can have a negative effect on our health since it is the main cause of many serious diseases. It can be seen that fast foods can cause many skin problems such as: aging, acne and allergy, because it consists of trans fat, sugar and natri, which makes our skin worse and worse. To make matters worse, that people have a habit of eating fast foods may face with a lot of health problems such as: heart attack, obesity and rise of blood pressure, especially with elderly people. As a matter of fact, junk foods are made from a lot of unhealthy ingredients, so it has a high rate of trans fat. More importantly, children are those who can be addicted to fastfood easily because of its delicious taste, but they can also become obese if they are overeat. For example, America has a high rate of obesity, which accounts for 33, 33% of those who are overweight. Secondly, fast foods may have a detrimental effect on traditional cuisine. As a matter of fact, fast foods has a good flavor and affordable price; thus, many people add fast foods to their favorite food list. Indeed, inviduals could be just into fat foods, and do not realize how traditional foods are oblivious. For instance, a lot of acient food stores need to close whereas many fast food stores are more and more popular. In conclusion, the authorities need to administer fast foods like how they do with drugs, alcohol and tobacco.
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has
been placed
on the opinion that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should regulate
strictly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
in the same way
as drugs, alcohol and tobacco. In my opinion, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
tottaly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that statement for the following reasons.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on our health since it is the main cause of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious diseases. It can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
skin problems such as: aging, acne and allergy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it consists of trans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
, sugar and
Possible spelling mistake found.
natri
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our skin worse and worse. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
matters worse, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a habit of eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may face with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
health problems such as: heart attack, obesity and rise of blood pressure,
especially
with elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. As a matter of fact, junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are made
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
unhealthy ingredients,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it has a high rate of trans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
. More
importantly
, children are those who can
be addicted
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
fastfood
easily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its delicious taste,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can
also
become obese if they are
Consider using a past participle here: "overeaten".
overeat
.
For example
, America has a high rate of obesity, which accounts for 33, 33% of those who are overweight.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
may have a detrimental effect on traditional cuisine. As a matter of fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
flavor and affordable price;
thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
to their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
list.
Indeed
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inviduals
could be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
into
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
, and do not realize how traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
are oblivious.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
Possible spelling mistake found.
acient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stores need to close whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stores are more and more popular.

In conclusion
, the authorities need to administer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
like how they do with drugs, alcohol and tobacco.
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IELTS essay Should governments regulate fast foods in the same way as drug, alcohol, and tobacco

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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