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some people think that it is better to spend free time on useful activities while others feel that free time is best used for relaxation

some people think that it is better to spend free time on useful activities while others feel that free time is best used for relaxation PRg92
Nowadays, leisure time performs an essential role in getting refreshed and dynamic. Many people think that utilizing spare time for activities that are beneficial to health is necessary, whereas others believe that a well-deserved rest is more effective during free time.  From my point of view, I totally agree with the former opinion. On the one hand, spending spare time doing some helpful outdoor activities, like playing soccer and running, is thought to relax after hard-working days. People can gain considerable benefits from playing sports. It has an enormous impact on improving soft skills and concentration. Furthermore, sports help boost the immune system to protect against many life-threatening diseases. For example, playing basketball promotes muscle development and encourages teamwork skills. On the flip side, in modern society, few people tend to spend free time doing indoor activities such as reading books and creating colorful paintings. According to the experts, reading is important for us to gain valuable knowledge and live longer. These activities not only keep our minds active but also help us reduce stress from workloads. Therefore, it is crucial to be in a positive state of mind because of the hectic and busy lifestyle these days. To conclude, I believe that the fast pace and stress of modern life are having a negative effect on many aspects of our lives. To my mind, it is undeniable that both sides of the argument have their own advantages. At last, I am in favor of the first view since engaging in useful activities in spare time provides opportunities for growth and success.
Nowadays, leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
performs an essential role in getting refreshed and dynamic.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that utilizing spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that are beneficial to health is necessary, whereas others believe that a well-deserved rest is more effective during free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.  From my point of view, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the former opinion.

On the one hand, spending spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
helpful outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, like playing soccer and running, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to relax after
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-working days.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
can gain considerable benefits from playing sports. It has an enormous impact on improving soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and concentration.
Furthermore
, sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
boost the immune system to protect against
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
life-threatening diseases.
For example
, playing basketball promotes muscle development and encourages teamwork
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

On the flip side, in modern society, few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to spend free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
doing indoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as reading books and creating colorful paintings. According to the experts, reading is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for us to gain valuable knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
longer. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
our minds active
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from workloads.
Therefore
, it is crucial to be in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
state of mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the hectic and busy lifestyle these days.

To conclude
, I believe that the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
pace and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of modern life are having a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. To my mind, it is undeniable that both sides of the argument have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages. At last, I am in favor of the
first
view since engaging in useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
provides opportunities for growth and success.
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IELTS essay some people think that it is better to spend free time on useful activities while others feel that free time is best used for relaxation

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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