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Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions?

People have the right to follow what lifestyle they believe as long as it does not affect anyone else. However, it is stated that their lifestyle should be controlled by the authority. I partly agree with that idea. This essay will demonstrate both views which are why the government should intervene in people’s lifestyle and the opposition. To begin with, some people have lots of bad habits that could influence the public adversely. For example, smoking has a negative impact on smokers as well as people around. If there is no law to regulate that activity in the public, numerous innocents may have lung problems just because they incidentally inhale smoke which comes from others. Furthermore, other addictive drugs such as heroin, cocaine, and so on, which can threaten life quality. Specifically, the increasing number of addicts can reduce the working productivity of a country. Therefore, it is necessary to eliminate any society’s vices by governments. On the other hand, The deep intervention of governments can lead to the loss of freedom. In some democratic countries, the citizens do not have free speeches. They can not speak up against government’s violation even though they witness it with their own eyes. In such countries, the government can send them to jail for opposition. That leads to creativity and productivity of workers lower than counterparts from other countries where their citizens can decide what lifestyle they want. For instance, in North Korea, the residents are not permitted to leave their nation, any actions considered against the government can make them end up in jail. Thus, it is a poor country and it usually needs donations from other countries. In conclusion, it will be a win-win solution if governments play a role in managing people’s lifestyle. They can use their power to prohibit inferior lifestyle and encourage superior habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have the right to follow what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
they believe as long as it does not affect anyone else.
However
, it
is stated
that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
should
be controlled
by the authority. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This essay will demonstrate both views which are why the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should intervene in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and the opposition.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits that could influence the public
adversely
.
For example
, smoking has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on smokers
as well
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around. If there is no law to regulate that activity in the public, numerous innocents may have lung problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
incidentally
inhale smoke which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from others.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
addictive drugs such as heroin, cocaine, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, which can threaten life quality.
Specifically
, the increasing number of addicts can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the working productivity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Therefore
, it is necessary to eliminate any society’s vices by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, The deep intervention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
can lead to the loss of freedom. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
democratic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the citizens do not have free speeches. They can not speak up against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government’s
violation
even though
they witness it with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
eyes. In such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to jail for opposition. That leads to creativity and productivity of workers lower than counterparts from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where their citizens can decide what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
they want.
For instance
, in North Korea, the residents are not permitted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their nation, any actions considered against the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up in jail.
Thus
, it is a poor
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
country and
it
usually
needs donations from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries.

In conclusion
, it will be a win-win solution if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
play a role in managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
. They can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their power to prohibit inferior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lifestyle
and encourage superior habits.

IELTS essay Should governments make decisions about people’s lifestyle, or should people make their own decisions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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