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Should governments invest money into art education

Should governments invest money into art education VPOB6
The education system is crucial for the future of the government, so it’s necessary to allocate money to education. But does the government really need to lower the budget on the arts in order to allocate more money to education? This educational system shouldn’t have only maths and sciences, it also needs to include arts too. Because the arts develop our creativity and it makes us more sophisticated. Also works of art like paintings and statues may help the students, especially those who use tactile learning, to learn better by seeing examples. That means the budget for works of art is as important as the budget on education. Thus, the budget on the arts which the government allocates, shouldn’t decrease because it helps students to clear their minds off and it increases the level of welfare.
The education system is crucial for the future of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s necessary to allocate money to education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
does the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
really
need to lower the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
in order to allocate more money to education?

This educational system shouldn’t have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
and sciences, it
also
needs to include
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
too.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
develop our creativity and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us more sophisticated.
Also
works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
like paintings and statues may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the students,
especially
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
tactile learning, to learn better by seeing examples. That means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
for works of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on education.

Thus
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
budget
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
which the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
allocates, shouldn’t decrease
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
students to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their minds off and it increases the level of welfare.
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IELTS essay Should governments invest money into art education

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
136 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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