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A child should be allowed to have full access to technology before the age of five.

A child should be allowed to have full access to technology before the age of five. QKO21
Most parents give their children access to technology from a very early age. Children under the age of 5 often use technology devices such as phones, TVs, and Ipads so that children can focus on them more and their parents have less to look after. However, five years old or even under five years old is too early to be allowed access to technology, which contains many dangers and easily causes unnecessary harm. Children should not have full access to technology before the age of five for three main reasons. First, technology devices affect the eyesight of children. When children focus on screens, blue light from technology devices causes their eyes to accommodate a lot and that causes their eye strain as well as dry eyes. Besides, other factors like distance from eye's children to screen of technology devices too close or too far, not enough or too bright, too much time to watch, . . . these things damage eyes of children such as make their eyes red, lacrimatory even make they have the feeling that their eyes are blurred, squint eyes when looking from a distance and they rub eyes instinctively. High energy visible from the screen of technology devices can penetrate the cornea and lens, which contribute to children with myopia, astigmatism quickly. Second, affects the development of the brain. From birth to 6 years old is the golden period for children's brain development. If children have full access to technology at this age, even if it only takes 1 hour a day, it can also cause brain disorders and underdeveloped than the children without access. The waves from technology devices affecting children's brains make gray matter in the brain is underdeveloped, poor reading and cognitive skills, and the cerebral cortex thinner. Not only that, technology devices also affect the sleep of children, light from device screens makes children feel awake longer than bedtime at this age. In addition, it is not necessary for children to learn with technology at the age of 5 and under because, at this age, children mainly need to learn from nature, the family that parents can teach and do not need for technology. Final, early access to technology devices affects children’s psychology. There is a lot of dirty content disguised as cartoons, which children are five or under five years old too young to know it. When parents do not know or pay attention to the content their children access, and if unfortunately, children see obscene or violent content that greatly affect the behaviors of children after watching. Children can become more aggressive, lack community skills, even are prone to mental illness. Specifically, according to the research of an expert at the iSmartKids center, the result after testing with children who frequently access technology devices showed have many cases of children are attention deficit disorder, psychological disorders, signs of depression, afraid to interact with people, . . . even there are children “live in the virtual world” of cartoons, being insensitive to everything around them and always mentioning the characters' lines. In conclusion, allowing children to have full access to technology is not necessary and harmful to health such as damaging their eyes, making their brain underdeveloped. Parents should limit children's access to technology as much as possible, let children have more contact with the natural environment, and teach children about natural things when they are 5 years old or younger.
Most
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parents
give their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
from a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
early
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age
.
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Children
under the
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age
of 5
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
such as phones, TVs, and
Possible spelling mistake found.
Ipads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can focus on them more and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have less to look after.
However
, five years
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old
or even under five years
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old
is too early to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, which contains
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
and
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
unnecessary harm.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should not have full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of five for three main reasons.

First
,
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technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
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affect
the eyesight of
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children
. When
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children
focus on
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screens
, blue light from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
to accommodate a lot and that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
causes
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eye
strain
as well
as dry
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
.
Besides
, other factors like distance from eye's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
too close or too far, not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
or too bright, too much time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
things damage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
such as
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make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
red,
Possible spelling mistake found.
lacrimatory
even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
they have the feeling that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
are blurred
, squint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
when looking from a
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
distance and
they rub
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
instinctively. High energy visible from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screen
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
can penetrate the cornea and lens, which contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with myopia, astigmatism
quickly
.

Second,
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affects
the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
. From birth to 6 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
is the golden period for children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
development. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
, even if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
takes 1 hour a day, it can
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
disorders and
Use "(underdeveloped)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
underdeveloped
than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
. The waves from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
affecting children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brains
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
gray matter in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
is underdeveloped
, poor reading and cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and the cerebral cortex thinner. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the sleep of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, light from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
device
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
screens
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel awake longer than bedtime at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
In addition
, it is not necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to learn with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 5 and under
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
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children
mainly
need to learn from nature, the family that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can teach and do not need for technology.

Final, early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
psychology. There is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
dirty content disguised as cartoons, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are five or under five years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
too young to know it. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do not know or pay attention to the content their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
, and if unfortunately,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
obscene or violent content that
greatly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
affect
the behaviors of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
after watching.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
can become more aggressive, lack community
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, even are prone to mental illness.
Specifically
, according to the research of an expert at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
iSmartKids
center, the result after testing with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
frequently
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
devices
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are attention deficit disorder, psychological disorders, signs of depression, afraid to interact with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
even
there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
“
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in the virtual world” of cartoons, being insensitive to everything around them and always mentioning the characters' lines.

In conclusion
, allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have full
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is not necessary and harmful to health such as damaging their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
, making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
brain
underdeveloped.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
should limit children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
as much as possible,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have more contact with the natural environment, and teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
about natural things when they are 5 years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
or younger.
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IELTS essay A child should be allowed to have full access to technology before the age of five.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
570 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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