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Should developing countries concentrate on improving industrial skilss or should they promote education first

Should developing countries concentrate on improving industrial skilss or should they promote education first rbR2m
People have different views about whether developing countries should focus on enhancing industrial skills or education. I support that developing countries should be concerned about enhancing both competencies equally. On the one hand, knowledge functions as the basic information of every detail aspect of life. To be a developed country requires a strong foundation to build a big country. The problem that frequently occurs today is in many cases, the curriculum in the school has no linkage with the requirements from the company. Therefore, education institutions as the part of the stakeholder of the industry should discuss their curriculum with the industries to find the compatibility between the knowledge taught in the school and the need of the companies. On the other hand, the quality of human resources in developed countries must be supported with industrial skills. These skills are required to implement and apply the theories obtained in schools or universities. With full skilled human resources, the developed countries have a chance to establish a greater number of industries and produce a lot of valued commodities which will bring profit for them. To sum up, education and industrial skills are the two sides of the same coin. Both are required for the development of a nation. What is needed is education with an emphasis on developing industrial skills.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about whether developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should focus on enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. I support that developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
should
be concerned
about enhancing both competencies
equally
. On the one hand, knowledge functions as the basic information of every detail aspect of life. To be a developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
requires a strong foundation to build a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The problem that
frequently
occurs
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cases, the curriculum in the school has no linkage with the requirements from the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
institutions as the part of the stakeholder of the industry should discuss their curriculum with the industries to find the compatibility between the knowledge taught in the school and the need of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.
On the other hand
, the quality of human resources in developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be supported
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are required
to implement and apply the theories obtained in schools or universities. With full skilled human resources, the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have a chance to establish a greater number of industries and produce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
valued commodities which will bring profit for them. To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are the two sides of the same coin. Both
are required
for the development of a nation. What
is needed
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with an emphasis on developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industrial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.

IELTS essay Should developing countries concentrate on improving industrial skilss or should they promote education first

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
219 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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