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should countries invest in building transport systems? consider both views and express an opinion v.2

should countries invest in building transport systems? consider both views and express an opinion v. 2
The infrastructure development is vital for a nation. Good infrastructure facilities can reduce the traffic congestion and also increase the trading of goods. However, in my view, the government should invest more money on primary economic issues such as, housing and employment opportunities, rather than spending funds on better transportation systems. In my essay I will share both the views. We cannot deny the various merits gained by improving the infrastructure facility in the country. With a good public transportation system, we can reduce the traffic congestion in the city. If there are better public transport facilities provided to the citizens, this could encourage them to use public transportation. Secondly, with good infrastructural facilities there could be an increase in trading. With a well connected transport system, the amount of reach across other nations would increase. This will provide easy accessibility and increase in trading. This would overall lead to economic growth of the country. However, there are also various disadvantages. There are limited funds that the developing countries have. These funds should be first used to solve the primary economic issues. One of the major problems of these countries is lack of employment. As most of these economies are still developing, there are lesser job opportunities. As there are not enough jobs in the market, many people are unemployed. Furthermore, due to unemployment most of, the individuals are below the poverty line and have no place to live, and the sanitation conditions are bad. The limited funds of the government should be first used to solve basic economic problems. To conclude, though it is important for a country to develop its infrastructural facilities. The government needs to first prioritise its fund and give more importance on spending money to solve the basic economic problems such as unemployment and housing before they invest funds on infrastructure facilities.
The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
development is vital for a nation.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
facilities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic congestion and
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the trading of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
However
, in my view, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should invest more money on primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
issues such as, housing and employment opportunities,
rather
than spending funds on better transportation systems. In my essay I will share both the views.

We cannot deny the various merits gained by improving the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
facility in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. With a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
public transportation system, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the traffic congestion in the city. If there are better public transport facilities provided to the citizens, this could encourage them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation.
Secondly
, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
infrastructural facilities there could be an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in trading. With a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well connected
transport system, the amount of reach across other nations would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
. This will provide easy accessibility and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in trading. This would
overall
lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
growth of the country.

However
, there are
also
various disadvantages. There
are limited
funds that the developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have. These funds should be
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
issues. One of the major problems of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is lack of employment. As most of these economies are
still
developing, there are lesser job opportunities. As there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
jobs in the market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are unemployed
.
Furthermore
, due to unemployment most of, the individuals are below the poverty line and have no place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, and the sanitation conditions are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
. The limited funds of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should be
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to solve basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
problems.

To conclude
, though it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to develop its infrastructural facilities. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to
first
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritise' is British English.
prioritise
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
and give more importance on spending money to solve the basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economic
problems such as unemployment and housing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they invest funds on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
infrastructure
facilities.
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay should countries invest in building transport systems? consider both views and express an opinion v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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