Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.12

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 12
Income disparity is very high in some of the countries around the world. Government control on such disparity through income ceiling enforcement is expected by some, while others believe ceiling free salary is more beneficial to the nation. Both views have their own merits and demerits. In my view, having no ceiling on income is better for the country as a whole, as higher salary results in higher economic gains. When a nation has no ceiling on income, it can attract more talented individuals, both from home and abroad. The person drawing a higher salary will also feel encouraged to make investments in interest bearing mutual funds or fixed deposits. This will result in the money going back into the economy. Also, higher revenue means higher taxes and a higher net gain from other indirect taxes. On the other hand, a nation choosing to impose a ceiling on the revenue of individuals, will discourage talented individuals. Someone who is able to draw a higher salary will eventually decide to move abroad. This may cause significant brain drain from the country, leading to a situation where there is no longer available workforce suitable for the growth of the economy. Ultimately the country will suffer economically and will also have a negative social impact. In the end, based on the above discussions, I feel the positives of having an open income ceiling is more than that of having any sort of control over it by the government. Ceiling free revenue encourages optimism among the workforce and act as encouragement for striving for their own betterment.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Income
disparity is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high in
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
around the world.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
control on such disparity through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceiling
enforcement is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
, while others believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceiling
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is more beneficial to the nation. Both views have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
merits and demerits. In my view, having no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceiling
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
is better for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as a whole, as higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
results in higher economic gains.

When a nation has no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceiling
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
, it can attract more talented individuals, both from home and abroad. The person drawing a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
will
also
feel encouraged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
investments in interest bearing mutual funds or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
deposits. This will result in the money going back into the economy.
Also
, higher revenue means higher taxes and a higher net gain from other indirect taxes.

On the other hand
, a nation choosing to impose a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceiling
on the revenue of individuals, will discourage talented individuals. Someone who is able to draw a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
will
eventually
decide to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
abroad. This may cause significant brain drain from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, leading to a situation where there is no longer available workforce suitable for the growth of the economy.
Ultimately
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
will suffer
economically
and will
also
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
social impact.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, based on the above discussions, I feel the positives of having an open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceiling
is more than that of having any sort of control over it by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Ceiling
free revenue encourages optimism among the workforce and act as encouragement for striving for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
betterment.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country, while others believe that the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. v. 12

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts