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Should children have smartphones? Give your point of view.

Should children have smartphones? Give your point of view. yN61d
Phones are gradually becoming popular and are used in almost everyday jobs. they are close and accessible for all ages to serve the needs from entertainment, work to study, however, in my opinion, I think children should not use phones because for the following reasons. Computers and phones are mobile devices that emit HEV radiation, also known and referred to as "blue light". This radiation is very harmful to the eyes. Initially, you will notice signs such as eye strain or red and sore eyes. If continued for a long time, HEV rays can cause dangerous diseases such as impaired vision and even eye cancer. Especially for young children, the eyes are still very weak. When using mobile phones too much, children's eyes chase the constantly moving images and bright spots on the phone screen. This can cause dry, sore eyes and fade over time. Over time, it can put children at risk of blindness or visual impairment. In addition, children may lack flexibility in body activities. Especially the joint problems. Using the phone while sitting in the wrong position can cause dangerous bone diseases. Bending down to look at your phone for a long time can potentially injure your neck bones. Finger bones, hands will also be greatly affected when using the keyboard continuously. But with children, the joints are not sure. The use of mobile phones will make children develop much slower than usual. The radiation of the phone is not large enough to have an immediate effect. But if children are regularly exposed to smartphones, their senses, movements, and thinking will be greatly affected. According to expert studies, using mobile phones can lead to harmful effects on children's ability to concentrate and study ability. In the age of technology, especially for the development of children, the use of phones can lead to undesirable consequences. Instead of spending a lot of time using the phone, parents can let their children participate in programming classes so that children can convert their passive behavior of using phones and electronic devices to active programming. , create their own games, help increase the ability of logical thinking and creativity in children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Phones
are
gradually
becoming popular and are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in almost everyday jobs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are close and accessible for all ages to serve the needs from entertainment, work to study,
however
, in my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for the following reasons. Computers and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are mobile devices that emit HEV radiation,
also
known and referred to as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
blue light
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. This radiation is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
.
Initially
, you will notice signs such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eye
strain or red and sore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
. If continued for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, HEV rays can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
diseases such as impaired vision and even
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eye
cancer.
Especially
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
weak. When using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
too much, children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
chase the
constantly
moving images and bright spots on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
screen. This can cause dry, sore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eyes
and fade over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. Over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, it can put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of blindness or visual impairment.
In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may lack flexibility in body activities.
Especially
the joint problems. Using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
while sitting in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
position can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
bone diseases. Bending down to look at your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
potentially
injure your neck bones. Finger bones, hands will
also
be
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
when using the keyboard
continuously
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the joints are not sure. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
develop much slower than usual. The radiation of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
is not large
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to have an immediate effect.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
regularly
exposed to smartphones, their senses, movements, and thinking will be
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
. According to expert studies, using mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can lead to harmful effects on children's ability to concentrate and study ability. In the age of technology,
especially
for the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can lead to undesirable consequences.
Instead
of spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
using the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
, parents can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
participate in programming classes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can convert their passive behavior of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
and electronic devices to active programming.
Loose punctuation mark.
,
create their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
games,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
increase the ability of logical thinking and creativity in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Should children have smartphones? Give your point of view.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
359 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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