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SHOULD ANIMALS BE USED FOR SCIENTIFIC OR COMMERCIAL TESTING?

SHOULD ANIMALS BE USED FOR SCIENTIFIC OR COMMERCIAL TESTING? j9mQN
I believe that animal testing is a very important part of the health history, and animals should be used for scientific testing to save millions of human beings and animals. However, the tests upon animals should be done carefully by taking care of innocent animals, avoiding unnecessary tests and mistreatment, and minimising the pain. Animal testings seem cruel and inhuman as Bryce Wilson mentioned. When we consider the further positive effects on human health, this is a smaller cost that needed to be spent. In case of that we did not take action and did not do animal testing, we could face to the severe diseases (Hepatit B, malaria, tuberculosis, etc. ) and it could lead to human extinction. Bryce Wilson expressed that due to the different body systems between humans and animals, it makes animals poor models for human. I disagree with Bryce and professor Thomas Hartung. We are not 70 kg rats for sure. But, due to their body system is similar to human's, it helps us to have breakthrough for human future, and testing upon these animals gives us positive results to cure diseases. Bryce Wilson mentioned that many drugs that pass animal tests fail upon humans. Even if he is right about it, we can not disregard the positive progesses that had been achieved with animal testings and results leading to save human race. Alternative testing methods such as artificial human skin (EpiDerm and ThinCert) and volunteered people should be used as far as possible. As a result of that we will save millions of animals' lives and prevent them suffering. Unnecessary animal testings should be banned immediately by laws. As a consequence, animal testing is crucially important for human lives and animals should be tested responsibly to reduce pain that they are forced to.
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of the health history, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
to save millions of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
However
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be done
carefully
by taking care of innocent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, avoiding unnecessary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
and mistreatment, and
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimising' is British English.
minimising
the pain.

Animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testings
seem cruel and inhuman as Bryce Wilson mentioned. When we consider the
further
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health, this is a smaller cost that needed to
be spent
. In case of that we did not take action and did not do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
, we could face to the severe diseases (
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hepatit
B, malaria, tuberculosis, etc.
Don't put a space before the closing parenthesis
)
and it could lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
extinction.

Bryce Wilson expressed that due to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
body systems between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
poor models for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
. I disagree with Bryce and professor Thomas
Possible spelling mistake found.
Hartung
. We are not 70 kg rats for sure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, due to their body system is similar to human's, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to have breakthrough for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
future, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
upon these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
gives us
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
results to cure diseases.

Bryce Wilson mentioned that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drugs that pass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
fail upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. Even if he is right about it, we can not disregard the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
Possible spelling mistake found.
progesses
that had
been achieved
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testings
and results leading to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
race. Alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
methods such as artificial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
skin (
Possible spelling mistake found.
EpiDerm
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
ThinCert
) and volunteered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as far as possible.
As a result
of that we will save millions of animals'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them suffering. Unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testings
should
be banned
immediately by laws.

As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
testing
is
crucially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
responsibly
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pain that they
are forced
to.
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IELTS essay SHOULD ANIMALS BE USED FOR SCIENTIFIC OR COMMERCIAL TESTING?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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