Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

cohabitation between young people

cohabitation between young people 6lOkr
Due to the fact that cohabitation helps young to understand each other, many think it's a beneficial experience that helps adult to understand the other gender before mirage. I entirely disagree with this dogma because this shape of life would be fake rather than real, and many would lose their marriage willingness. Firstly, In spite of the fact that people who cohabitate live together at one block, I reckon that they would pretend to be the kindest persons one this plant; therefore this fake of life isn't a good projection to real life. For example, because members of this common life have no responsibilities comparing to real marriage, this experience would deceives them if it was compared to real spouse life. Furthermore, people who participate in such experience would try to applaud their flat-mates even though they don't deserve it otherwise they might lose a person who incur half of the home expenses. Consequently, they might sacrifice their privacy in order to make their peers satisfied. Secondly, once this dogma was privileged in any society, I bet that many of adult would lose their marriage desires. Since the vulnerability of having sex is peaked, people who have this shape of life will lose main incentive for making a family. Thus, the society might face extinction threat as vast majority of people don't marry and propagate. Furthermore, the consequences of this phenomenon on individuals are harmful; however the effect on community might be more sever. Once people having un-controlled sex the pregnancy would be at high level. If parents of this infant didn't take their responsibilities, society would have massive number of bastards. Hence, this imposes extra tasks on governments because they are the one to raise, educate, and find jobs for them. In conclusion, many people go with the idea of cohabitation because it supports youth's sense of family. I completely disagree with this mentality because of its harmful consequences on individuals and authorities alike.
Due to the fact that cohabitation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
young to understand each other,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it's a beneficial experience that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
adult to understand the other gender
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
mirage. I
entirely
disagree with this dogma
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this shape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
would be fake
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
their marriage willingness.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
cohabitate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together at one block, I reckon that they would pretend to be the kindest persons one this plant;
therefore
this fake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
isn't a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
projection to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
members of this common
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
have no responsibilities comparing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
marriage, this experience would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "deceive"
deceives
them if it
was compared
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
real
spouse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
participate in such experience would try to applaud their flat-mates
even though
they don't deserve it
otherwise
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
incur half of the home expenses.
Consequently
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
sacrifice their privacy in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their peers satisfied.

Secondly
, once this dogma
was privileged
in any society, I bet that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of adult would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
their marriage desires. Since the vulnerability of having sex
is peaked
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
have this shape of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lose
main incentive for making a family.
Thus
, the society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
face extinction threat as
It seems that an article is missing.
vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't marry and propagate.
Furthermore
, the consequences of this phenomenon on individuals are harmful;
however
the effect on community
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
be more sever.
“Once” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Once
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having
Possible spelling mistake found.
un-controlled
sex the pregnancy would be at high level. If parents of this infant didn't take their responsibilities, society would have massive number of bastards.
Hence
, this imposes extra tasks on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are the one to raise, educate, and find jobs for them.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of cohabitation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it supports youth's sense of family. I completely disagree with this mentality
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its harmful consequences on individuals and authorities alike.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay cohabitation between young people

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • cohabitation between young people