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Shops should open for 24 hours a day

Shops should open for 24 hours a day 1o1aW
Some places like gas stations or fast-food restaurants are often open 24/7 which makes it easy for people to access essential goods anytime. Some people are debating whether grocery stores should do the same as they might find it hard to find a time to shop with a busy work schedule. But will it be worth it? Imagine if you had a work schedule with shifts from 5 a. m. to 5 p. m. If all the shops closed at 5 in the afternoon, how would you ever be able to shop for food and other essentials? People could really benefit from shops opening 24/7 as you can shop anytime. As a result, the lives of many people will become much more convenient. On the other hand, think about how much energy stores would waste. If it was a scorching or freezing day, stores can’t just blast the aircon all day. All the money that they profit will just be lost on this unnoticed expense. This applies with the lights too. If there aren’t suitable conditions for customers, no-one will come! Following that, it will be very hard to find workers to work overnight. There will be hardly anyone who is willing to work at this time which will make it harder for less people to do it by themselves. Also, if the shop is open all day, how will it get cleaned and re-stocked? This will make the cleaner’s job extremely difficult to find a time were no-one is inside just to mop the floor. Despite this, companies pay huge salaries for night-shift workers. Thus, they can spend this money on their own and their family needs. A study by The New York Times showed that more than 60 percent of employees are satisfied with 24*7 stores because of high salaries. This can also provide more jobs for the ones that are more desperate for money. After weighing the reasons, I believe that stores should not be open for 24 hours a day sine it wastes so much energy that there will be no point in even extending the hours. Right now, I feel like we all should just stick to gas stations.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
places like gas
You should probably use "station".
stations
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food restaurants are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
open 24/7 which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it easy for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to access essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
anytime.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are debating whether grocery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
should do the same as they might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
with a busy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
will it be worth it?

Imagine if you had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
schedule with shifts from 5 a. m. to 5 p. m. If all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
closed at 5 in the afternoon, how would you ever be able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
for food and other essentials?
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
could
really
benefit from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
opening 24/7 as you can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
anytime.
As a result
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will become much more convenient.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about how much energy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
would waste. If it was a scorching or freezing day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
can’t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
blast the
Possible spelling mistake found.
aircon
all day. All the money that they profit will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
be lost
on this unnoticed expense. This applies with the lights too. If there aren’t suitable conditions for customers, no-one will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
!

Following that, it will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
overnight. There will be hardly anyone who is willing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
at this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it harder for
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun people is countable.
less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to do it by themselves.
Also
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
is open all day, how will it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
cleaned and re-stocked? This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the cleaner’s job
extremely
difficult to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
no-one is inside
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to mop the floor.

Despite this,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
pay huge salaries for night-shift workers.
Thus
, they can spend this money on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
and their family needs. A study by The New York
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that more than 60 percent of employees
are satisfied
with
Replace by the typographical symbol.
24*7
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of high salaries. This can
also
provide more jobs for the ones that are more desperate for money.

After weighing the reasons, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stores
should not be open for 24 hours a day sine it wastes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much energy that there will be no point in even extending the hours. Right
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, I feel like we all should
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
stick to gas stations.
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IELTS essay Shops should open for 24 hours a day

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
364 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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