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Shopping is pass time hobby for the youngster

Shopping is pass time hobby for the youngster Epl5Q
These days young people's approach to word hobby is changing day by day and it is influenced by technology. In the present time shopping is a favorite pastime activity for youngsters. However, unnecessary shopping is a waste of time and money therefore people can utilize it for good things. In this modern world, everyone will leave with new technological gadgets and fashionable items. People like to change it quite frequently and it is important to follow trend fashion and updated with shopping regularly and people like to go shopping quite frequently because they love to do the shopping and also they feel those things are necessary for them. Moreover, plenty of brands release new items quite often and the young generation purchases them frequently because they live with fashion. Nowadays, several online apps available for shopping, and on the app, people can buy numerous branded items, and also it provides a huge discount, for example, renewable brands like Zara, Levis, and Park Avenue often give up to 50 to 70 % discounts on their products. In modern time youth can use their free time in various activities like going out, do exercise, and play outdoor sports because it physically and mentally fit and also they will feel positive and healthy moreover they will spend their time in reading which will help them to increase their knowledge and also they will learn new words and it will help in the future. To conclude I believe that shopping is essential but it is not a good hobby they should spend their money on good items which are quite benefited them for a long time.
These days young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's approach to word hobby is changing day by day and it
is influenced
by technology. In the present
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a favorite pastime activity for youngsters.
However
, unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can utilize it for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things.

In this modern world, everyone will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
with new technological gadgets and fashionable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
frequently
and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to follow trend fashion and updated with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
regularly
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to go
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and
also
they feel those things are necessary for them.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of brands release new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
and the young generation
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
them
frequently
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with fashion.

Nowadays, several online apps available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
, and on the app,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
numerous branded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
, and
also
it provides a huge discount,
for example
, renewable brands like Zara, Levis, and Park Avenue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
give up to 50 to 70 % discounts on their products. In modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
youth can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in various activities like going out, do exercise, and play outdoor sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
physically
and mentally fit and
also
they will feel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and healthy
moreover
they will spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in reading which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to increase their knowledge and
also
they will learn new words and it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in the future.

To conclude
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is essential
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
hobby they should spend their money on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
items
which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
quite
benefited them for a long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
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IELTS essay Shopping is pass time hobby for the youngster

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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