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Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society? kOoW
It is fascinating to see the ever-increasing popularity of shopping as a way of relaxation. For many, it has impacted us in both good and bad ways. In this essay, I will discuss how self obsession and improved living standard can be considered as main reason for this trend and also effects of excessive shopping on individuals and society as a whole. Obsession among people to look good has increased so much these days. Everyone wants to look better than all to impress others. For this reason, they shop and buy latest trend clothes that are available in market. Also, the standard of living has improved in comparison to early days. Therefore, people can afford to shop more and they pass their free time shopping. There are several effects of excessive shopping. Individual’s expenses have raised and savings have dropped. This is because people spend large part of their income on purchasing things and products and most of the times the purchases made are not required or necessary. It is seen that people for instance, visit shopping malls on weekends to pass their time and end up buying unnecessary things. On society it has adverse effect as landfill is increasing due to more shopping. Indeed, amount of waste disposal, resource extraction has raised by huge volume. In addition, level of pollution has also increased due to the large number of factories that have been set up for production as a result of increased demand. In conclusion, although people are taking it as a fun activity to pass time, a though should be given to the impact it has on us and our society. Instead, we should try and shift to less harmful ways of entertainment.
It is fascinating to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the ever-increasing popularity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as a way of relaxation. For
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, it has impacted us in both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
ways. In this essay, I will discuss how self obsession and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
living standard can
be considered
as main reason for this trend and
also
effects of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on individuals and society as a whole.

Obsession among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to look
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
has increased
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much these days. Everyone wants to look better than all to impress others.
For this reason
, they shop and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
A determiner is probably missing here: "the latest".
latest
trend clothes that are available in market.
Also
, the standard of living has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
in comparison
to early days.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can afford to shop
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
more and
they pass their free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
shopping.

There are several effects of excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
. Individual’s expenses have raised and savings have dropped. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend large part of their income on purchasing things and products and most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
made are not required or necessary. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
for instance
, visit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
malls on weekends to pass their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up buying unnecessary things.

On
The comma is probably missing here: "society, it".
society it
has adverse effect as landfill is increasing due to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
Indeed
, amount of waste disposal, resource extraction has raised by huge volume.
In addition
, level of pollution has
also
increased due to the large number of factories that have
been set
up for production
as a result
of increased demand.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are taking it as a fun activity to pass
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, a though should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the impact it has on us and our society.
Instead
, we should
"Try and" is common in colloquial speech, but "try to" is recommended for writing.
try and
shift to less harmful ways of entertainment.
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IELTS essay Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
285 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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