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Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society

Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society 7b05
As a leisure activity nowadays shopping becomes more popular, this is due to its consumerism and also, in recent years people would like to have diversities which makes them happy always. However some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. In my opinion, eventhough shopping is popular and it is an essential activity but should not be considered as a leisure activity due to its unwanted wastage of money. Initially, shopping is a most popular activity in recent days due to its consumerism. As we know that people are always influenced to buy branded products where they ensured with good quality even if it is too costly. And also these companies they are willing to satisfy their customers in several ways such as by conducting a customer satisfaction survey. For example, a consumer card policy is implemented by most of the branded companies where the card holders can complaint directly to the website and even they can express their interest and experience about the products. Moreover that, people always would like to be happy by accepting the diversities. A change of environment itself will enhance a person's mood, so how much more with the families and friends. For instance, going out for shopping with someone who is under pressure can make the person feel relaxed. On the other hand, shopping should not be considered as a leisure activity although how much popular it is, due to its unwanted wastage of money. Most of the people uses their credit card to purchase things that they cannot afford on at a time. Thus makes an extra burden to themselves. For example, credit card holders are assured by the facility that they can buy anything, even if their monthly income being lower than the expenditures. In conclusion, Although shopping is more popular nowadays, but people should not be considered it as a leisure activity due to its bad impacts on individuals as well as society in such a way that an unwanted wastage of money on a low paid person leads to an extra burden to the family being paid back on behalf of them for many months and once the family cannot afford it surely they will depend on some organization to borrow money with certain percentage of interest even.
As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
becomes more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
, this is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its consumerism and
also
, in recent years
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would like to have diversities which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them happy
The adverb 'always' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
always
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
feel that this has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. In my opinion,
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventhough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
and it is an essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
should not
be considered
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its unwanted wastage of money.

Initially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is a most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
in recent days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its consumerism. As we know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are always influenced to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
branded products where they ensured with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality even if it is too costly. And
also
these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
they are willing to satisfy their customers in several ways such as by conducting a customer satisfaction survey.
For example
, a consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
policy
is implemented
by most of the branded
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
where the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
holders can complaint
directly
to the website and even they can express their interest and experience about the products.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'would' and 'like'.
always would like
to be happy by accepting the diversities. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of environment itself will enhance a person's mood,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how much more with the families and friends.
For instance
, going out for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
with someone who is under pressure can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the person feel relaxed.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
should not
be considered
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
although how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
it is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its unwanted wastage of money. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
their credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
things that they cannot afford on at a time.
Thus
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
an extra burden to themselves.
For example
, credit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
holders
are assured
by the facility that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything, even if their monthly income being lower than the expenditures.
In conclusion
, Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
popular
nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should not
be considered
it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
due
to its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impacts on individuals
as well
as society in such a way that an unwanted wastage of money on a low paid person leads to an extra burden to the family
being paid
back on behalf of them for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
months and once the family cannot afford it
surely
they will depend on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
organization to borrow money with certain percentage of interest even.
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IELTS essay Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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