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Shopping is become more and more popular as leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects? Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and on society

Shopping is become more and more popular as leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects? Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and on society Eg1b
Trend of online shopping as leisure activity has emerged in recent years. Nowadays shopping is more popular in everywhere because people wants to spend time in shopping mall or e-commerce sides. In this essay we discussed both positive and negative side of online shopping on individual and society. To embark on, there are several reasons why shopping is more popular activity. The first and foremost, online website gives extra benefits such as, discounts on products, short time delivery, easy to return products, variety of products available. For example: Every year flipkart gives offers on products like low cost of EMI, zero interest payment of loan. People get easily EMI with low salary also it’s help so many people to buy new products easily. E-commerce use data analytical techniques to fetch dat from user searching on websites they shows this advertisement on different styles on every where so it’s easy to get product to user. When people using more shopping sites it’s affected on sales. When products got sell more and more than we need more seller, more productivity, more warehouse. Whe production is increased we need more man power so job opportunities also increased. On other side, due to over shopping people effects on bank balance, if user use credits cards and emi it also get burden on head. To sum of, people are more abdicated towards new products without thinking any effects.
Trend of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
as leisure activity has emerged in recent years. Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is more popular in everywhere
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
wants
to spend time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
mall or e-commerce sides. In this essay we discussed both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side of online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
on individual and society.

To embark on, there are several reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is more popular activity. The
first
and foremost, online website gives extra benefits such as, discounts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, short time delivery, easy to return
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
available.
For example
: Every year
Possible spelling mistake found.
flipkart
gives offers on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
like low cost of EMI, zero interest payment of loan.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
easily
EMI with low salary
also
it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
easily
. E-commerce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
data analytical techniques to fetch
Did you mean "that" or "date"?
dat
from user searching on websites they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "show"
shows
this advertisement on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
styles on
Did you mean "everywhere"?
every where
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it’s easy to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
to user.

“When” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
using more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
sites it’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
on sales. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sell more and more than we need more seller, more productivity, more warehouse.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whe
production
is increased
we need more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
power
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
job opportunities
also
increased.

On other side, due to over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
effects on bank balance, if user
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
credits cards and
Possible spelling mistake found.
emi
it
also
Did you mean "gets"?
get
burden on head.

To sum of,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more abdicated towards new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
without thinking any effects.
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IELTS essay Shopping is become more and more popular as leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects? Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its popularity have on individuals and on society

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
233 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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