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Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What is your opinion?

Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. What is your opinion? qPrD
Every year, thousand of society in this world die because of tobacco, not only user active as a smoker but also passive smoker. From this reason i disagree for making legal company who produce cigarette. However, I also believe that create policy regulation would safe million workers who have job in this factory. It is irrefutable that tobacco especially cigarette is cause of lung cancer, heart disease and so on. Because cigarette does not have regulation for someone who wants to smoker, in fact students from junior high school try this bad habit. They do not know negative effect of cigarette although there is warning in cigarette’s box. Several smokers who cannot do their job without cigarette willing do anything to have much money to buy it. As a matter of fact large number of youngster become crime because need money. Moreover, father/mother who addicted with cigarette would influence to their member of family healthy. In spite of that, cigarette company reduce significantly homeless in every country which is has this factory. For instance, in Indonesia, there are 6. 1 million workers have a job in tobacco as a subject. If this businessbecome illegal would create them become jobless and could make them to do criminality for getting much money. Moreover, tobacco’s company supply big income for country. Several countries get big tax from this firm for developing their society. it means if tobacco become illegal, would decrease income for country. To put it in a nutshell, I would like to write that banning tobacco corporation is not good decision. Government should generate new regulation for smoker where they have to smoke.
Every year,
thousand
of society in this world
die
because
of
tobacco
, not
only
user active as a smoker
but
also
passive smoker. From this reason
i
disagree for making legal
company
who
produce
cigarette
.
However
, I
also
believe that create policy regulation would
safe
million workers
who
have job in this factory.

It is irrefutable that
tobacco
especially
cigarette
is cause of lung cancer, heart disease and
so
on.
Because
cigarette
does not have regulation for someone
who
wants to smoker, in fact students from junior high school try this
bad
habit. They do not know
negative
effect of
cigarette
although there is warning in
cigarette’s
box. Several smokers
who
cannot do their job without
cigarette
willing do anything to have much money to
buy
it. As a matter of fact large number of youngster become crime
because
need money.
Moreover
, father/mother
who
addicted with
cigarette
would influence to their member of family healthy.

In spite of
that,
cigarette
company
reduce
significantly
homeless in every country which is has this factory.
For instance
, in Indonesia, there are 6. 1 million workers have a job in
tobacco
as a subject. If this
businessbecome
illegal would create them become jobless and could
make
them to do criminality for getting much money.
Moreover
,
tobacco’s
company
supply
big
income for country. Several countries
get
big
tax from this firm for developing their society.
it
means if
tobacco
become illegal, would decrease income for country.

To put it in a nutshell, I would like to write that banning
tobacco
corporation is not
good
decision.
Government
should generate new regulation for smoker where they
have to
smoke.
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IELTS essay Tobacco is a kind of drug. People have been free to use it. Some people think that it should be illegal to use it comparing with other drugs. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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