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Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. To what extent do you agree with this statement?

Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem. QBdK
Nowadays, children have many more opportunities to lead a healthy life than in the past, because they generally live in hygienic surroundings and have plenty to eat. However, modern lifestyles mean that many children spend long hours in front of the television or computers, do not take a great deal of exercise, and eat an unbalanced diet. I believe both parents and schools can do a lot to remedy this situation. Parents should limit the time that children spend doing sedentary activities and should encourage them to take more exercise. They could, for example, play sports with them at the weekend. Schools also should include regular exercise in their timetables with activities such as physical education and compulsory sports. As far as diet is concerned, both parents and schools should provide children with a range of foods which include plenty of vegetables and fruit and only small amounts of fat. If children are brought up on a healthy diet, they learn responsible eating habits and this, combined with plenty of physical activity, helps them to grow into healthy adults. Moreover, I think that governments and health authorities have a responsibility to teach people how to create a healthy lifestyle for children. This can be done, for example, by broadcasting programs about healthy eating on television, or by giving courses to new parents on how to bring up their children. In conclusion, I believe that while governments can encourage and help by giving information, the responsibility for bringing up children with a good healthy lifestyle rests with the people who are in contact with them, in other words their parents and their teachers.
Nowadays,
children
have
many
more opportunities to lead a
healthy
life than in the past,
because
they
generally
live
in hygienic surroundings and have
plenty
to eat.
However
, modern lifestyles mean that
many
children
spend long hours in front of the television or computers, do not take a great deal of exercise, and eat an unbalanced diet.

I believe both
parents
and schools can do a lot to remedy this situation.
Parents
should limit the time that
children
spend doing sedentary activities and should encourage them to take more exercise. They could,
for example
, play sports with them
at the weekend
. Schools
also
should include regular exercise in their timetables with activities such as physical education and compulsory sports.

As far as diet
is concerned
, both
parents
and schools should provide
children
with a range of foods which include
plenty
of vegetables and fruit and
only
small
amounts of
fat
. If
children
are brought
up on a
healthy
diet, they learn responsible eating habits and this, combined with
plenty
of physical activity,
helps
them to grow into
healthy
adults.

Moreover
, I
think
that
governments
and health authorities have a responsibility to teach
people
how to create a
healthy
lifestyle for
children
. This can
be done
,
for example
, by broadcasting programs about
healthy
eating on television, or by giving courses to new
parents
on how to bring up their children.

In conclusion
, I believe that while
governments
can encourage and
help
by giving information, the responsibility for bringing up
children
with a
good
healthy
lifestyle rests with the
people
who are in contact with them,
in other words
their
parents
and their teachers.
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IELTS essay Many children these days have an unhealthy lifestyle. Both school and parents are responsible for solving this problem.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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