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Sharing of information to all is good or bad

Sharing of information to all is good or bad 5BDBP
Todays era is said to be the Information era were information plays a vital role in day to day life. There are some group of people who think giving open access to data to scientific researchers, business personal, students and teachers are very helpful on the other hand there are some who completely claims that information should not be shared freely. I am a person who believes that data is future so everyone should be allowed to get access. Internet has grown tremendesly in past 2 decade each and every sector runs with the assistance of information so very clear that it should be accessable by every living being particularly in the field of scientific research as they undergo multiple testing its hard to work on without valid datas. To make my point clear, Biostatistics is one of the files in research which comprises with predicting the future human health status and other medical related thing which required whole worlds information. As we are able to access all the set of required facts it becomes easy to work on. So I strongly trust in the ideology of shared Statistics. On the opposite side of the coin it can be used completely in wrong way as the facts are out, people who are against the ethics will take advantage over those facts. For instance, there are few scientists who try to develop harmful viruses and medicine to overpower the world as they have all data in their hand it become very easy for them to go with their plans. These issues can be solved with a basic segregation of information which is of no harm to be accessed by the public and confidentials which dhould be protected. If we implement strict process of separation of data and its access all the above mentioned issues can be solved.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Todays
era
is said
to be the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Information
era were
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
plays a vital role in day to day life. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "groups"?
group
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
giving open access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to scientific researchers, business personal, students and teachers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful
on the other hand
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
completely claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
should not
be shared
freely
. I am a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believes that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
is future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
everyone should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access.

Internet has grown
Possible spelling mistake found.
tremendesly
in past 2
Possible agreement error. The noun 'decade' seems to be countable, so consider using: "decades".
decade
each and every sector runs with the assistance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that it should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
accessable
by every living being
particularly
in the field of scientific research as they undergo multiple testing
Did you mean "it's" (="it is") instead of 'its' (possessive pronoun)?
its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to work on without valid
Possible spelling mistake found.
datas
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
my point
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, Biostatistics is one of the files in research which comprises with predicting the future human health status and other medical related thing which required whole
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "worlds'" or "world's"?
worlds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we are able to access all the set of required facts it becomes easy to work on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I
strongly
trust in the ideology of shared Statistics.

On the opposite side of the coin it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
completely in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
way as the facts are out,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are against the ethics will take advantage over those facts.
For instance
, there are few scientists
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
try to develop harmful viruses and medicine to overpower the world as they have all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
in their hand it
Did you mean "becomes"?
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
their plans.

These issues can
be solved
with a basic segregation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
which is of no harm to
be accessed
by the public and
Possible spelling mistake found.
confidentials
which
Possible spelling mistake found.
dhould
be protected
. If we implement strict process of separation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
and its access all the above mentioned issues can
be solved
.
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IELTS essay Sharing of information to all is good or bad

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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