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Several people consider online learning is efficient, whereas the others have many drawbacks with it. What is your opinion?

Several people consider online learning is efficient, whereas the others have many drawbacks with it. What is your opinion? dlWd2
As you already know, Covid-19 pandemic has had a severe influence in not only safety of citizens around the world, but all of aspects including education, especially Vietnam. Not to interrupt the process of the young’s learning, Vietnam’ Ministry of Learning and Training has enforced online learning policy. Nevertheless, everything hasn’t gone so smooth. There is still many a variety of unevitable issues. So what are they? Now, I'm going to share with you some of them. Let’s go! When it comes to the benefits that online learning brings back, there are 4 typical ones. First, you can study anywhere at anytime you want. Moreover, you can save time by not doing anything but sitting at one place and learning through a screen. Second, learners can get access to various learning sources and save them with ease. And last but not least, students stand a chance of effectively learning through active and clear lectures prepared by pedants. However, everything has two sides of it. There are also many drawbacks of online learning. Number one: teachers cannot observe and control as to whether students are learning. Number two: online learning easily drives students to distraction when they can be on the Web and search for everything they need effortlessly, which leads to the lack in students’ creativity. Thus, the chances are that they cannot obtain the knowledge in the most complete way. Futhermore, one of the most common ways, which cause the above aftermath, is the unstable connection of Internet and the continuous blackout. All the things that I’ve mentioned above are the pros and cons of online learning policy. Yet, those things really don’t matter in terms of our ability of obtaining the lessons’ content if we have a stably organized mindset. By the way, remember to protect yourself against Corona by perfectly obeying to 5K rules and encourage everybody and even yourself that “To protect ourselves is to protect our planet”. That’s it. Thank you for your listening and watching. If you, guys, have any questions or ideas, feel free to give in the comment box. I’m willing to answer all of them. Please vote and share my video for more love. Thank you!
As you already know, Covid-19 pandemic has had a severe influence in not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
safety of citizens around the world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Consider using "all aspects" or "all of the aspects".
all of aspects
including education,
especially
Vietnam. Not to interrupt the process of the young’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, Vietnam’ Ministry of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Learning
and Training has enforced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
policy.
Nevertheless
, everything hasn’t gone
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
smooth. There is
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
a variety of
Possible spelling mistake found.
unevitable
issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
what are they?
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
, I'm going to share with you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
’s go! When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the benefits that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
brings back, there are 4 typical ones.
First
, you can study anywhere at anytime you want.
Moreover
, you can save time by not doing anything
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
sitting at one place and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
through a screen. Second, learners can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
sources and save them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
. And last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
stand a chance of
effectively
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
through active and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
lectures prepared by pedants.

However
, everything has two sides of it. There are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Number one: teachers cannot observe and control
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Number two:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
easily
drives
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to distraction when they can be on the Web and search for everything they need
effortlessly
, which leads to the lack in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
creativity.
Thus
, the chances are that they cannot obtain the knowledge in the most complete way.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
, one of the most common ways, which cause the above aftermath, is the unstable connection of Internet and the continuous blackout.

All the things that I’ve mentioned above are the pros and cons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
policy.
Yet
, those things
really
don’t matter in terms of our ability of obtaining the lessons’ content if we have a
stably
organized mindset. By the way, remember to protect yourself against Corona by
perfectly
obeying to 5K
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and encourage everybody and even yourself that “To protect ourselves is to protect our planet”. That’s it. Thank you for your listening and watching. If you, guys, have any questions or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, feel free to give in the comment box. I’m willing to answer all of them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Please
vote and share my video for more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
. Thank you!
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IELTS essay Several people consider online learning is efficient, whereas the others have many drawbacks with it. What is your opinion?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
365 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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