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Senior people age of 60 face problems when they have to work.do you agree or disagree?

Senior people age of 60 face problems when they have to work. NVVwj
The topic is based on the fact that what are the consequences faced by senior people ( age of 60) when they are allowed to do work. I completely agree with this statement that it cause severe problems. Work is worship for all, every person whether they are of 25 year or 60 year belive in that. But there is a particular age for doing job because every work whatever they are need focus, energy and activeness. People of young age are more active than elder's. One survey conducted by the University of London found that the people of age 60 are not able to do heavy work or long time period they exhaust or feel tired this will cause severe problems like anxiety, tiredness, heart problems and many more. Further more, in some situations they have to do work for for their survival when they are alone a member who work and earn their livelihood. In that situation the government of country has to make some policies like to fund senior citizens monthly to earn their livelihood and provide free or nominal services like health, food. If government provide that kind of services they have not to do work and consequences also decline and they live happily and health life. For example many countries government officials provide free health services to people above 60 years in a month and give some nominal amount in the mode of pension. This schemes help the senior people' to earn their livelihood without doing any job. In conclusion, the people of age 60 are not have to do jobs because they are not that fit or active for daily jobs routine. I agree with the above statement that it will cause severe problems like headache, heart problems and anxiety.
The topic
is based
on the fact that what are the consequences faced by senior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 60) when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement that it cause severe problems.

Work is worship for all, every person whether they are of 25 year or 60 year
Possible spelling mistake found.
belive
in that.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for doing job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
whatever they
are need
focus, energy and activeness.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
are more active than elder's. One survey conducted by the University of London found that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
60 are not able to do heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or long time period they exhaust or feel tired this will cause severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like anxiety, tiredness, heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.

Further
more, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
Possible typo: you repeated a word
for for
their survival when they are alone a member who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and earn their livelihood. In that situation the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
policies like to fund senior citizens monthly to earn their livelihood and provide free or nominal services like health, food. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
provide that kind of services they have not to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and consequences
also
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
decline and
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
happily
and health life.
For example
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
officials provide free health services to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
above 60 years in a month and give
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nominal amount in the mode of pension.
Did you mean "these"?
This
schemes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the senior
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
' to earn their livelihood without doing any job.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
60 are not
Consider using a past participle here: "had".
have
to do jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not that fit or active for daily jobs routine. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the above statement that it will cause severe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
like headache, heart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
and anxiety.
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IELTS essay Senior people age of 60 face problems when they have to work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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