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In many places new home or needed but the only space available for building then is in the countryside some people believe it is more important to protect their countryside and not build new homes there

In many countries, humans believe that new building in the suburb is many benefit and useful for preserving countryside and also some people completely disagree with this matter. In my idea, people have allow building new hous in the suburb. therefore, I want to discuss about this issue. . . In recent years, Due to increasing number of people in the cities, People have to build a new small city or house in the suburb. As you know, These days humans have a lot of problems at the city. Such as air pollution, noise pollution and also waste the time in traffic jam in the rush hour. furthermore, People are sad, even though they have make much money in city and they have a convenient life But people suffering and complaining about many illnesses. . on the other side, Government playing important role about this issue, building new building around the city. As a result, usually all of the factories are in the suburb. so, government can help to people to have cheapest houses and put facilities at there. For example, Shopping center, gym, public transport, park and many other facilities. if cities and houses built in the suburbs, We observing less pollutions in city and also I think, We can play this plan on the countryside, even that cause protect range of areas near the city. As long as human activities don't have harm for the environment. In conclusion, I believe that people with help of government can build small cities at the suburbs, even, That's cause protect of vast area around the city's and also we will seening less pollusion and traffic in the city in the future.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, humans believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburb
is
Possible agreement error. The noun benefit seems to be countable; consider using: “many benefits”.
many benefit
and useful for preserving countryside and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
completely disagree with this matter. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Use past participle here: “allowed”.
allow
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
Possible spelling mistake found.
hous
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburb
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
therefore
, I want to
Did you mean simply “discuss this”? You do not need the word “about” here.
discuss about this
issue.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
In recent years, Due to increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
build a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
city or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburb
. As you know, These days humans have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
problems at the city. Such as air pollution, noise pollution and
also
waste the time in traffic jam in the rush hour.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are sad,
even though
they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
much money in
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
city and
they have a convenient life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering and complaining about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illnesses.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
on
the other side,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
playing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role about this issue,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
around the city.
As a result
,
usually
Consider using “all the”.
all of the
factories are in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburb
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
so
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to have
A determiner is probably missing here: “the cheapest”.
cheapest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and put facilities at there.
For example
, Shopping center, gym, public transport, park and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other facilities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
built in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburbs
,
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “We’re observing”, “We are observing”, or “We were observing”?
We observing
Did you mean “fewer”? The noun pollutions is countable.
less
pollutions in city and
also
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, We can play this plan on the countryside, even that cause protect range of areas near the city. As long as human activities don't have harm for the environment.
In conclusion
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can build
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
at the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
suburbs
, even, That's cause protect of vast area around the city's and
also
we will
Possible spelling mistake found.
seening
less
Possible spelling mistake found.
pollusion
and traffic in the city in the future.
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IELTS essay In many places new home or needed but the only space available for building then is in the countryside some people believe it is more important to protect their countryside and not build new homes there

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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