Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

SENDING CRIMINAL TO PRISON IS NOT THE BEST METHOD OF DEALING WITH THEM. EDUCATION AND JOB TRAINING ARE BETTER WAY TO HELP THEM. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE?

SENDING CRIMINAL TO PRISON IS NOT THE BEST METHOD OF DEALING WITH THEM. EDUCATION AND JOB TRAINING ARE BETTER WAY TO HELP THEM. NrP52
This is inevitable truth criminals are part of our society but still they are human and send them to jail is not a best and final way to deal with them. There are a lot of other aspects which can make them better citizen and human being. On the contrary sometimes it depends on the type criminals likewise rapists, murderer or terrorists they must be behind the bars. In the upcoming paragraphs I will discuss both views to deal with criminals. We can categorize criminals in under 18 (young) and over 18 (adults) and non-serious and serious criminals. Young people sometimes do crime because their brain is not fully developed and they do not know the results of criminal activities. These kind criminals must be refer to some rehabilitation centers so where they can rehab their mindset, Continue their study and learn new things to make their future better. If there is a serious crime done by youngster still, we should send them to rehabilitation center for his/her to make them better citizen. On the other side, Adults also committing crimes even they are well educated but still there are some reasons which causes them to commit crime likewise unemployment, drugs and lack of money. Government should create some rehabilitation center where they can learn new skills to make them self-dependent and create new jobs as well. Sending them straight to jail can make them more aggressive and ruder. But serious criminals must be prison and can be in rehab center after assessing their behavior periodically. To conclude, rehabilitation is an another and better method instead of sending them to jail. Rehab centers can make them better citizens and human.
This is inevitable truth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
are part of our society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they are human and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to jail is not
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
best and final way to deal with them. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other aspects which can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
citizen and human being.
On the contrary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
it depends on the type
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
likewise
rapists, murderer or terrorists they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be behind the bars. In the upcoming paragraphs I will discuss both views to deal with criminals.

We can categorize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
in under 18 (young) and over 18 (adults) and non-serious and serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
. Young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
their brain is not
fully
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
developed and
they do not know the results of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities. These kind
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "referred"?
refer
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
where they can rehab their mindset, Continue their study and learn new things to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. If there is a serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
done by youngster
still
, we should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
center for his/her to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
citizen.

On the other side, Adults
also
committing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
even they are
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well educated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons which causes them to commit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
likewise
unemployment, drugs and lack of money.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
should create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
center where they can learn new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them self-dependent and create new jobs
as well
. Sending them straight to jail can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them more aggressive and ruder.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
serious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be prison and can be in rehab center after assessing their behavior
periodically
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rehabilitation
is
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "an and" or "another and".
an another and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
method
instead
of sending them to jail. Rehab
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
centers
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
citizens and human.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay SENDING CRIMINAL TO PRISON IS NOT THE BEST METHOD OF DEALING WITH THEM. EDUCATION AND JOB TRAINING ARE BETTER WAY TO HELP THEM.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • SENDING CRIMINAL TO PRISON IS NOT THE BEST METHOD OF DEALING WITH THEM. EDUCATION AND JOB TRAINING ARE BETTER WAY TO HELP THEM. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE?