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QUESTION: In some areas of US, a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

QUESTION: In some areas of US, a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this? r8eQ2
Curfew is mostly for the security of the citizens. Adolescents are now expected not to walk alone in some areas in United States of America. I think this is a good decision to prevent rape cases and robbery attack. Firstly, record of rape cases is on the increase. This is because some bad boys attack both teenage boys and girls when they are walking alone on the road at night after spending time studying and doing their assignments at school. For instance, two weeks before the restriction of movements for teenagers, my uncle's neighbour in New York city, United States was on his way back from work when he found two boys raping a girl on the road side he parked his car and the boys ran out of sight immediately they saw him. He took the girl to the hospital, she was treated, and some tests were done. If the girl was with an adult or not out alone at that time, she would not have been raped. It is right to say having adults around adolescents will prevent any form of hurt. Furthermore, teenagers experience robbery attack when they are alone at night more. This is because they are seen as individuals not been able to defend themselves, and will also not be able to call for help. For instance, a study carried out by Mr Patrick Bill in Chrisland school concerning cases of robbery attack of teenage children at night revealed that 90% of teens have been attacked when they were walking alone at night and the attackers left with things like phones, laptops, wallets and wrist watches. The study revealed the experience the teenage aged got is a bad one as they find it difficult move on with life. In avoidance of robbery attack experience in teens, it is necessary to impose a curfew at night so that teenagers will not be found alone. In conclusion, restriction of movements by the authorities in a state or country is for the security of the citizens. I believe that adolescents being restricted from walking late at night is for their safety.
Curfew is
mostly
for the security of the citizens. Adolescents are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
not to walk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas
A determiner is probably missing here: "in the United States".
in United States
of America. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
rape cases and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
attack.

Firstly
, record of rape cases is on the increase. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attack
both teenage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girls
when they are walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
on the road at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
after spending time studying and doing their assignments at school.
For instance
, two weeks
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the restriction of movements for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
, my uncle's
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbour' is British English.
neighbour
in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
, United States was on his way back from work when he found two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
raping a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
on the road side he parked his car and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boys
ran out of sight immediately they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
him. He took the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
to the hospital, she
was treated
, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
were done
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
girl
was with an adult or not out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
at that time, she would not have
been raped
. It is right to say having adults around adolescents will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
any form of hurt.

Furthermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
experience
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attack
when they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
more. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as individuals not been able to defend themselves, and will
also
not be able to call for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
.
For instance
, a study carried out by Mr Patrick Bill in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chrisland
school concerning cases of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attack
of teenage children at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
revealed that 90% of teens have
been attacked
when they were walking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
alone
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
and the attackers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
with things like phones, laptops, wallets and wrist
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watches
. The study revealed the experience the teenage aged
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
one as they find it difficult
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
on with life. In avoidance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
robbery
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
attack
experience in teens, it is necessary to impose a curfew at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
will not
be found
alone.

In conclusion
, restriction of movements by the authorities in a state or country is for the security of the citizens. I believe that adolescents
being restricted
from walking late at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
night
is for their safety.

IELTS essay QUESTION: In some areas of US, a curfew is imposed in which teenagers are not allowed to be out of doors after a particular time at night unless they are accompanied by an adult. What is your opinion about this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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