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It is undeniable that the overwhelming majority of people from remote areas to megacities have used radio

It is undeniable that the overwhelming majority of people from remote areas to megacities have used radio 2KPOJ
It is undeniable that the overwhelming majority of people from remote areas to megacities have used radio. While it has some advantages, I believe that there are media that may steal its future away. Radio has its own advantages. With radio, we can listen to news broadcasts about events as they happen, and a key benefit of radio is that we can listen to it while doing other activities, such as driving or gardening. However, television and the Internet have been posing an explicit threat to radio’s popularity. There is no room for doubt that they are much more effective media than radio in some ways. Firstly, television, when compared to radio, can combine visual elements along with sound effects, bringing us closer to reality than ever before. For example, we are able to watch sport events and feel partially the stadium atmosphere or we can see the body language of a politician who is being interviewed. In addition to television, the Internet allows us to access our own choices of news, information, and entertainment, whereas radio and television broadcasts is the same for everyone. Rather than just listening to radio or watching television, youngsters nowadays are likely to interact instantly with their friends around the world via Twitter, Facebook, and other social media platforms. In conclusion, it seems to me that radio is neither as interesting as television and as personal and social as the Internet. Radio has to be transformed into a new kind of medium, otherwise whether radio could maintain its status in not-too-distant future remains to be seen.
It is undeniable that the overwhelming majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from remote areas to
Possible spelling mistake found.
megacities
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
. While it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advantages, I believe that there are media that may steal its future away.

Radio has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
advantages. With
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, we can listen to news broadcasts about
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
as they happen, and a key benefit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is that we can listen to it while doing other activities, such as driving or gardening.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and the Internet have been posing an explicit threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio’s
popularity. There is no room for doubt that they are much more effective media than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
ways.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, when compared to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
, can combine visual elements along with sound effects, bringing us closer to reality than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For example
, we are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
sport
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
and feel
partially
the stadium
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
atmosphere or
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the body language of a politician who is
being interviewed
.
In addition
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, the Internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to access our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choices of news, information, and entertainment, whereas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
broadcasts is the same for everyone.
Rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
listening to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
or watching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
, youngsters nowadays are likely to interact
instantly
with their friends around the world via Twitter, Facebook, and other social media platforms.

In conclusion
, it seems to me that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
is neither as interesting as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
television
and as personal and social as the Internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Radio
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be transformed
into a new kind of medium,
otherwise
whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
radio
could maintain its status in not-too-distant future remains to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.
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IELTS essay It is undeniable that the overwhelming majority of people from remote areas to megacities have used radio

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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