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Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. G66g
Scientists claim that eating junk food causes health problems to the people, it is considered that the key to solving the issue is by teaching people, while some others think teaching them will not work. From my perspective, I think educating people brings a drastic change in their food habits. Firstly, people in this modern world are running towards their desired dreams, in the way to reach their dreams they are facing many pressures, stress. For time-saving people are eating junk foods instead of cooking or eating nutritious food. As a result many fast food centers are being opened and the prices of this food will be less compared to the nutritious food. All the people can’t eat the nutritious food but who has ability to buy the nutritious food also preferring junk food. It is mainly because to save their time and it consumes less time than cooking and having it. Secondly, many people think that they can save money and time by eating junk food but the people didn’t realize that it will cause severe damage to their health. I strongly believe teaching or addressing people about the harmful diseases caused by eating too much junk food is very important and necessary. So, that people will change their food habits and they will know the importance of nutritious food. If the people are healthy, then they can reach their dreams. In conclusion, until unless people get diseases they don’t understand how harmful the junk food is, in my opinion, teaching people will change their food habits. and by avoiding it and taking nutritious food makes life healthier.
Scientists claim that
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eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
causes health problems to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, it
is considered
that the key to solving the issue is by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
them will not work. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
brings a drastic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits.

Firstly
,
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people
in this modern world are running towards their desired dreams, in the way to reach their dreams they are facing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
pressures,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. For time-saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
instead
of cooking or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
As a result
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
centers are
being opened
and the prices of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
will be less compared to the nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. All the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can’t eat the nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
who has ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the nutritious
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food
also
preferring
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junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. It is
mainly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
to save their time and it consumes less time than cooking and having it.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they can save money and time by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
didn’t realize that it will cause severe damage to their health.

I
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
or addressing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about the harmful diseases caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and necessary.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, that
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people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
habits and
they will know the importance of nutritious food.

If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are healthy, then they can reach their dreams.

In conclusion
, until unless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
diseases they don’t understand how harmful the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
habits.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
by avoiding it and taking nutritious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
life healthier.
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IELTS essay Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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