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Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work. 000G
Scientists around the world believe that having junk have serious effects on people’s health. one set of people think that educating people about their diet may solve this problem while the others think it won’t work. In my opinion, educating people in this regard brings a notable change in their eating habits. Firstly, life has become so fast and time consuming that people are not getting enough time to have a healthy and nutritious food and this is the reason why people started having fast foods as it consumes less time in cooking and having it. In addition, Number of fast food stalls are being opened in the people’s work places which serve their employees food needs. secondly, the pricing of this unhealthy food is not pricy, and affordable to people who have financial burden buying food with good nutrition. Therefore, people feel that their work environment and the pressure of their work make them less conscious about their eating habits and there are a great number of people who satisfies their hunger needs with junk food due to their poverty. In my opinion, I strongly believe educating people about their eating habits will have a great change in people’s lifestyle. Although, junk food saves a lot of time and money it causes serious diseases if consumed in a long period of time. therefore, people should have adequate awareness about the health problems that may occur due to unhealthy food habits and one can make people acquire this knowledge through educating them about healthy food habits. As a result, people would change their eating habits and search alternatives for this type of unhealthy food. In conclusion, people have different opinions about having food and taking care of what we eat. In my opinion, educating people will have a significant change in their habits. because of this education people would start having nourishing and healthy food.
Scientists around the world believe that
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having
junk have serious effects on
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people’s
health.
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one
set of
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
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educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their diet may solve this problem while the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it won’t
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work
. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
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educating
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people
in this regard brings a notable
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change
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
habits.

Firstly
, life has become
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so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
that
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people
are not getting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
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time
to have a healthy and nutritious
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food
and this is the reason why
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people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
as it consumes less
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time
in cooking and
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having
it.
In addition
, Number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
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food
stalls are
being opened
in the
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people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
places which serve their employees
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food
needs.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, the pricing of this unhealthy
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food
is not
Possible spelling mistake found.
pricy
, and affordable to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have financial burden buying
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food
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
nutrition.
Therefore
,
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people
feel that their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
environment and the pressure of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them less conscious about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and there are a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who satisfies their hunger needs with junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
due to their poverty.

In my
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opinion
, I
strongly
believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
will have a great
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change
in
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people’s
lifestyle. Although, junk
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food
saves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
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time
and money it causes serious diseases if consumed in a long period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should have adequate awareness about the health problems that may occur due to unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and one can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
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people
acquire this knowledge through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
them about healthy
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food
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
As a result
,
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people
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
and search alternatives for this type of unhealthy food.

In conclusion
,
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people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinions
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and taking care of what we eat. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
change
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
habits
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
of this education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
having
nourishing and healthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
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IELTS essay Scientists agree that people are damaging their health by eating too much junk food. Some people think that the answer to this problem is to educate people. Others think education will not work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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