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Do you agree or disagree?: "Science is better than Religion".

: "Science is better than Religion". 15AXM
In this modern era people are intelligent enought to always see the reason behind everything, which is not believing blindlying for things we do and hear. Incase of science and religion both plays an gigantic excerpt in our day to day life. Even if people believe in religion far before than science however, both have reasonable way of showing their theory. Firstly in my point of view both science and religion are important in its own way but in this 21st century science is playing a greater role. For instance, in today's world people are very dependent on high technology like mobile, buses, metro, internet so on which has made our working time easier with short time distance and also we can gain current trend information within second. Secondly, science has also helped in development of our health condition. For instance, due to man-made destruction of environment and wild animals it has caused huge problems in our environment and health such as currently in China there is wide spread of disease called corona virus which is able to detect due to scientific development in research and hospital technologies likewise till now we are able to tackle serious diseases due to our scientists and doctors. Lastly, science take huge excerpt in all the things for instance science is present in math, biology, chemical reaction, geography, it helps to spread our knowledge to large media. It also helps in developing great relationship with our neighborhood countries by exchanging of our goods to develope own country. If science is not present our world must have not developed. To summarise, religion has help us to believe in self and for mental stability compare to that science is greater as it helped us to know about world in a second.
In this modern era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are intelligent
Possible spelling mistake found.
enought
to always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the reason behind everything, which
The verb 'believing' is a stative verb and sometimes the progressive form is not correct. Try a simple form instead.
is not believing
Possible spelling mistake found.
blindlying
for things we do and hear.
Did you mean "in case of"?
Incase of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
both plays
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
gigantic excerpt in our
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
life. Even if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
far
Use "(before)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
before
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
however
, both have reasonable way of showing their theory.

Firstly
in my point of view both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in this 21st century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is playing a greater role.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
dependent on high technology like mobile, buses, metro, internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which has made our working time easier with short time distance and
also
we can gain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
trend information within second.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
in development of our health condition.
For instance
, due to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
-made destruction of environment and wild animals it has caused
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
huge


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
problems
in our environment and health such as
currently
in China there is wide spread of disease called
The term "coronavirus" (= disease) is spelled as one word.
corona virus
which is able to detect due to scientific development in research and hospital technologies
likewise
till
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we are able to tackle serious diseases due to our scientists and doctors.

Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
take huge excerpt in all the things
for instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is present in math, biology, chemical reaction, geography, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to spread our knowledge to large media. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in developing great relationship with our neighborhood countries by exchanging of our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
develope
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
country.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is not present our world
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
have not developed.

To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
religion
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to believe in self and for mental stability compare to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
is greater as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to know about world in a second.
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IELTS essay : "Science is better than Religion".

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
295 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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