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Families are not as close as before. Give reasons for this change, and suggest some ways to bring families closer.

Families are not as close as before. Give reasons for this change, and suggest some ways to bring families closer. yXx1M
In the past, family was a significant concept in people’s minds, it was the center of people’s lives. nowadays, however, the relationship between family members is falling apart. But what are the factors contributeto this phenomenon, various people have deverse opinions. As far as i concerned, it results from the following reasons. The first reason is that people spend more and more time on their work or study. Compared with the past, people face fierce competition and suffer from great pressure. Therefore, they have to devote more time and energy to their career. Some people are too occupied to spend time with their families, . What is more, some jobs require people to work in other cities, and some youngsters have to leave their parents at an early to study elsewhere. As time passes, those people become emotionally estranged from their family memebers. Another reason is that there are more entertaining forms available. Nowadays high technology brings us more interesting activities which are easily attarct people’s attention, such as play video games, watching TV and surfing internet. As a concequence, people are indulged in those things with totally neglecting the feelings of their family members. To bring family members closer, these are some suggestions may put forward. Firstly, never take office work back to home, and set a regular and enough time to spare with our family members, no matter how important the work is. Family always comes first. Secondly, people who study or work far away from their home may take advantage of modern technology to make phone calls or video chat with their relatives as much as possible. Last but not least, juveniles should be taught the sence of family when they are young. To sum up, family is the basic unit in a society. It is physically and mentally. crucial to everyone’s healthy growth. In order to enjoy harmonious family and stable society, effected should be take to creat close family relationship.
In the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
was a significant concept in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
minds, it was the center of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
nowadays
,
however
, the relationship between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members is falling apart.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
what are the factors
Possible spelling mistake found.
contributeto
this phenomenon, various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
deverse
opinions. As far as
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
concerned, it results from the following reasons.

The
first
reason is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
or study. Compared with the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
face fierce competition and suffer from great pressure.
Therefore
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
devote more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy to their career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are too occupied to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
Did you just mean "," or "."?
, .
What is more
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in other cities, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
youngsters
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their parents at an early to study elsewhere. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
passes, those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become
emotionally
estranged from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
Possible spelling mistake found.
memebers
.

Another reason is that there are more entertaining forms available. Nowadays high technology brings us more interesting activities which are
easily
Possible spelling mistake found.
attarct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
attention, such as play video games, watching TV and surfing internet. As a
Possible spelling mistake found.
concequence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are indulged
in those things with
totally
neglecting the feelings of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

To bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members closer, these are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
suggestions may put forward.
Firstly
, never take office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
back to home, and set a regular and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spare with our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members, no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Family
always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
first
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who study or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
far away from their home may take advantage of modern technology to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
phone calls or video chat with their relatives as much as possible. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, juveniles should
be taught
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sence
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
when they are young.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
is the basic unit in a society. It is
physically
and mentally.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
crucial
to everyone’s healthy growth. In order to enjoy harmonious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
and stable society, effected should be
Did you mean "taken"?
take
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
creat
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
relationship.
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IELTS essay Families are not as close as before. Give reasons for this change, and suggest some ways to bring families closer.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
325 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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