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Schools should prepare students for university, rather than for work.

Schools should prepare students for university, rather than for work. MryKQ
Schools are considered the first institutions that greatly affect a child’s life in terms of shaping his academic, professional and personal experience. Some people argue that schools should prepare students for university rather than for work. I will discuss in this essay my opinion under each scenario. First, I believe that schools have an extremely vital role to play in the preparation of our children to university. Since, it represents the main pillars needed to achieve higher education. For instance, many universities request the grades of school to accept the admission in a certain specification and much more than this, the method of learning adopted at schools has a considerable impact on the numerous skills of an individual (cognitive, analytical, etc. …). Thus, students need to be well prepared for the next step of their academic life. Second, professional experience is directly associated to the educational background. Moreover, they are complementary to each other. For example, a wide range of skills, if taught at schools lead due to remarkable effects at work such as teamwork. The teamwork spirit has been given considerable importance during job interviews considering the benefits it brings to the individual in specific and to the society in general. Therefore, schools and work should be fully integrated. Finally, in my opinion as long as the collaboration between schools, universities and work is being accomplished simultaneously, the beneficial implication on the community will be clearly mentioned.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
are considered
the
first
institutions that
greatly
affect a child’s life in terms of shaping his academic, professional and personal experience.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should prepare students for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
rather
than for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. I will discuss in this essay my opinion under each scenario.

First
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
have an
extremely
vital role to play in the preparation of our children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
, it represents the main pillars needed to achieve higher education.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
request the grades of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
to accept the admission in a certain specification and much more than this, the method of learning adopted at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
has a considerable impact on the numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
of an individual (cognitive, analytical, etc. …).
Thus
, students need to be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
for the
next
step of their academic life.

Second, professional experience is
directly
associated to the educational background.
Moreover
, they are complementary to each other.
For example
, a wide range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, if taught at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
lead due to remarkable effects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
such as teamwork. The teamwork spirit has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
considerable importance during job interviews considering the benefits it brings to the individual in specific and to the society
in general
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
should be
fully
integrated.

Finally
, in my opinion as long as the collaboration between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is
being accomplished
simultaneously
, the beneficial implication on the community will be
clearly
mentioned.
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IELTS essay Schools should prepare students for university, rather than for work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
238 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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