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Which is more likely to lead to success as a sportsperson, mental toughness or natural strength? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which is more likely to lead to success as a sportsperson, mental toughness or natural strength? VwYN7
Every sportsman has two different natural capabilities: physical and mental strength, which play an important role in athlete’s trophies. Although physical power provides the victory, which is enough to be emphasized, but I believe that mental strength is more important as numerous things such as physical condition depends on it. On the one hand, every sportsman trains as much as needed to be able to succeed which, in following details, represent the importance of being physically strong in the first priority. Although defeating excitement results well in essential moments, but physical strength is required to be a champion. To illustrate this, the daily workouts improve the athlete’s condition and makes the possibility of being champion higher. For example, Cristiano Ronaldo, an outstanding player of the history of football, trained as hard as possible to reach the current position. This points out the fact that the physical power is more needed to every athlete to be successful in their career. As a result, they can celebrate their victory. On the other hand, by working hard to achieve goals and defeating stress in the important moment is a necessary issue to address. Although the winner is more likely that who trained much, but I believe that mental strength is also and even initially demanded to get the trophy. In fact, athletes have often fear of being shame or losing, in which they cannot show what they have gathered up to that moment. This emphasizes the mental side. For instance, despite being more powerful team, Real Madrid loses in ‘’El Classico’’ matches against Barcelona because of the footballer’s fear according to the previous lost matches. As a consequence, mental power assists the sportsmen to illustrate the collected power and defeat the game. In conclusion, although the physical strength has a number of importance, the mental one overtakes it in terms of the equipment of athlete’s success. (318 words)
Every sportsman has two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
natural capabilities:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
, which play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete’s
trophies. Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
provides the victory, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to
be emphasized
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as numerous things such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
condition depends on it.

On the one hand, every sportsman trains as much as needed to be able to succeed which, in following
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, represent the importance of being
physically
strong in the
first
priority. Although defeating excitement results well in essential moments,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is required
to be a champion. To illustrate this, the daily workouts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete’s
condition and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the possibility of being champion higher.
For example
, Cristiano Ronaldo, an outstanding player of the history of football, trained as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
as possible to reach the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
position. This points out the fact that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
is more needed to every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete
to be successful in their career.
As a result
, they can celebrate their victory.

On the other hand
, by working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to achieve goals and defeating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
moment is a necessary issue to address. Although the winner is more likely that who trained much,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
is
also
and even
initially
demanded to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the trophy. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athletes
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
fear of being shame or losing, in which they cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
what they have
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "gathered".
gathered up
to that moment. This emphasizes the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
side.
For instance
, despite being more powerful team, Real Madrid loses in ‘’
Possible spelling mistake found.
El
Possible spelling mistake found.
Classico
’’ matches against Barcelona
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the footballer’s fear according to the previous lost matches. As a consequence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
assists the sportsmen to illustrate the collected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
power
and defeat the game.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
strength
has
Possible agreement error. The noun importance seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much importance", "a good deal of importance".
a number of importance
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
mental
one overtakes it in terms of the equipment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
athlete’s
success.

(318 words)
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IELTS essay Which is more likely to lead to success as a sportsperson, mental toughness or natural strength?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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