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Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare student

Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare student eKpeB
Several people are bound to have differing views on this topic. Nowadays, schools still focus on traditional subjects more than modern subject. Many subjects can not meet the needs of the future jobs. I completely agree with the statement that school too much concentrate on traditional subjects which affect students in the modern working. To begin with, schools must be more flexible in the education because every student will choose and follow the different ways. So they need a different knowledge's source. For example: the technology development is becoming a vital part in modern society which demand a number of the skilled workforce. As the result, if students proficient in using computer or machine, they will achieve success in their career. Therefore, teaching too much traditional subjects for everyone is not a good method. In addition, the traditional subjects always learn a lot of theories than skills. That is the reason why many students feel boring when studying them, such as: history, literature or geography. But people can ignore them because all the subjects concern about culture and the society's problems. So the education system should be enhanced. Instead of researching lessons in class or books, we need to hold the meeting or game shows to exchange knowledge and skills between students. Moreover, schools have to add some soft skill subjects. Because the world is integrating and need to the people who flexibly adapt the difficult circumstances. In conclusion, the traditional subjects are still being concentrated too much. Schools should improve system so that students can acquire many new things and meet the needs in the world of work.
Several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are bound
to have differing views on this topic. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
still
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more than modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
of the future jobs. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
too much concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which affect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the modern working.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more flexible in the education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
will choose and follow the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge's source.
For example
: the technology development is becoming a vital part in modern society which demand a number of the skilled workforce. As the result, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
proficient in using computer or machine, they will achieve success in their career.
Therefore
, teaching too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for everyone is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
method.

In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
always learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
theories than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
That is
the reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
feel boring when studying them, such as: history, literature or geography.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
concern about culture and the society's problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
the education system should
be enhanced
.
Instead
of researching lessons in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
or books, we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to hold the meeting or game
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
to exchange knowledge and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the world is integrating and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
flexibly
adapt the difficult circumstances.

In conclusion
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
still
being
The usual preposition for "concentrate" is "on", "in", or "at", not "too". Do you mean "concentrated on", "concentrated in", or "concentrated at"?
concentrated too
much.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
system
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in the world of work.
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IELTS essay Schools concentrate far too much on traditional subjects which do not adequately prepare student

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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