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Schools, collages and universities should be abandoned, and classes should be online. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this?

Schools, collages and universities should be abandoned, and classes should be online. with this? pbBQ0
Technology has improved a lot of aspects in our lives and things that once required travel to other places to be done, now can be completed from the comfort of our living rooms. One example of this is remote education; tele-education become the trend in recent years, but would that mean that traditional education system is to be part of our history and we move forward to online classes? While some people argue that this will be the future of education going forward, I strongly believe that this should not be the case. In this essay I will outline the reasons behind my opinion. Although distant learning has its advantages, such as saving time and money for both teachers and students, it has its own negative impacts. Firstly, teaching from behind a screen would mean that the precious relationship between teachers and students and between students themselves will no longer exist. In addition, Instead of being a place to make new friends, education places will turn to empty spaces. Hence, people would feel isolated and not able to communicate efficiently when they come face to face. This would lead to mental disorders such as depression. Another drawback of virtual learning is the lack of exchange of expertise between different generations. Schools, colleges and universities always been places where the new generation learn from other people outside their direct supporting network, such as families. Losing these places, we will end up with a socially literate generation and seniors who stuck with their old conventional ways of doing things. This in turn would mean that we will end up with different isolated generations who are not able to communicate or live together. The impact of that on the society and on the world on general is huge. In this essay I argued that despite the positive impact distant learning might have, old traditional ways of education still have more advantages to benefit the community.
Technology has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
aspects in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and things that once required travel to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to
be done
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can
be completed
from the comfort of our living rooms. One example of this is remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
;
Possible spelling mistake found.
tele-education
become the trend in recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
would that mean that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system is to be part of our
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
history and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward to online classes? While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that this will be the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
going forward, I
strongly
believe that this should not be the case. In this essay I will outline the reasons behind my opinion.

Although distant learning has its advantages, such as saving time and money for both teachers and students, it has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts.
Firstly
, teaching from behind a screen would mean that the precious relationship between teachers and students and between students themselves will no longer exist.
In addition
,
Instead
of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friends,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
will turn to empty spaces.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
would feel isolated and not able to communicate
efficiently
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
face to face. This would lead to mental disorders such as depression.

Another drawback of virtual learning is the lack of exchange of expertise between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
generations. Schools, colleges and universities always been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
where the new generation learn from other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
outside their direct supporting network, such as families. Losing these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
, we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with a
socially
literate generation and seniors who stuck with their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
conventional ways of doing things. This in turn would mean that we will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
isolated generations who are not able to communicate or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
together. The impact of that on the society and on the world on general is huge.

In this essay I argued that despite the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact distant learning might have,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
traditional ways of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
still
have more advantages to benefit the community.
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IELTS essay Schools, collages and universities should be abandoned, and classes should be online. with this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
322 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Meet the criteria
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